Apr 4, 2011

Colorado Dinner Club Girls ...

Two years ago today I said goodbye, and hello.  This goodbye hello phenomenon has become part of my life since I boarded a plane at 21 years -old headed for Tokyo, Japan.  Two years later I was saying goodbye to my Mom as she boarded the shuttle for Narita Airport.  I found myself looking down in my arms saying hello to my six day old baby thinking, "holy cow, I'm a mom, I have to take care of you and my Mom just left ... how do I do this without my mom!?"

Jon stayed in the Air Force for 12 more years then retired.  I said hello and goodby every two-three years during that time  I had two more babies (three boys).  Along the lines God in his wisdom knew I needed someone(s) to call family with each move.  I've had that ... and more.  Our kids have aunts, uncles, and even grandparents scattered across the globe.  Although I don't have the luxury of dropping my kids off at their Nana's house overnight, I get the privilege of people allowing my little family to be adopted into theirs.  Military families adopt one another fast.  Everyone knows stations change, people move, and you are all you have so make the best of it.  Crying about change doesn't stop the inevitble.

Japan, DC, The Azores, Las Vegas, New Hampshire ... we were supposed to stop. We bought our second house, I planted spring bulbs (for some this is just a menial task to enjoy flowers in the spring ... for me, it was symbolic that we would still be here ... year after year ... I laid roots.).  We got involved in our community, coached our kids, loved our neighbors, and were adopted by a couple of special families. I saw those Spring bulbs bloom for the third time as we pulled out after the moving truck headed for Colorado.  Our life that was supposed to stay secure, my flower gardens that were now the envy of the nighborhood because of my loving daily care ... gone in the rearview mirrior.

Colorado.  Although Jon hasn't been in the m military for 7 years, he's been with an international firm that does have a reputation of career advancement being a matter of upward mobility.  Our family, dutifully, has then and is now being upwardly mobile.  But these are details, minor details that get lost in the shuffle of the news we are moving.  As I mentioned earlier, each place we've lived I've been blessed to have one or two really good friends to share life with on the days we want to give up, and laugh with on the days the news is to good to be true.  Colorado ... Colorado ...

Dennette ... she knows how much I love that kid, and for all intensive purposes people know she is my Colorado BFF.  I believe on some level Dennette is everyone's BFF.  She's kind, outgoing, and a person you WANT to know and be aroud.  All this being said, God in His wisdom send Dennette my direction when we arrived in Colorado and months later she sent me in the direction of "dinner club".  Dinner club, from what I had been told, had rules, and was very exclusive (haha).  The exclusive part came in the fact that there are 8 people, no more.  You make 8 meals a month, you go home with 7 different meals every month.  For the girl who hates to figure out WHAT to cook every night ... this is a Godsend.

But ... dinner club ... I don't even know if these women understand the power the 7 and with me 8 of them represent.  The inherent power of womanhood, security, love, endurance, and laughter.  The once a month gatherings aren't limited to that day.   Many of the women in dinner club do play dates, dinner dates with their spouses, go camping together, play together (oh, kickball ... haha), etc.  This isn't a club, it isn't exclusive, it's just this group of women in which I have been privileged enough to have been a part of.  I've moved often, I've had friends I am still friends with and will never forget, but this group of women I have come to love here in Colorado I will never forget.

When I found out I was pregnant with my 4th baby, I was crying.  Through the tears, sitting on the sidelines of the swimming pool as our kids had lessons, I told Dennette.  It was a shigh risk pregnancy.  Doctors had told me another pregnancy could kill me.  This was not planned.  Her response, she put her hand on my leg and said, "Cort, don't worry, we'll get though this together."  And you know what, we did.  Towards the end of the pregnancy I sat at my baby shower hosted by Dennette and helped with by so many of my dinner club friends and I just sobbed.  Each of them was there.  Each of them had loved and prayed not only for me, but for this little person none of us even knew.  These women who were less than 18 months ago strangers to me I would trust with my or the lives of my children.  Dinner club ... I think it might be code for family.

Yet again, in a whirlwind that is the Eldridge way, we are moving again and we jsut found out ... Utah.  Not sure about the Utah thing.  I grew up in Utah, did my time, and would far prefer to stay in Colorado.  But ... my kids will now actually get to know their cousins and their Nana so it has some perks.  The job?  Jon's dream job.  How can I fault him?  Same career field, new client, and yes, more money (and since we apparently have litters of children in our home, we need more money!).  He starts the 18th (yes, April).  The goal is to leave here the 13-14th.  I found a poem years ago that I often go back to when these hello goodbye's come to fruition.  It has never really seemed completely appropriate until I met my Colorado dinner club girls ... as always, I (heart) dinner club.  Read Below:

A young wife sat on a porch in Waycross, Georgia on a summer day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.


"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you'll love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; Do things with them. And remember that girlfriends" are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice.' the young women thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the 'couple' world? I'm a married woman, for goodness sake... A grown up... Not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start, will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept in contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstay of her life.

After 50 years of living in this world, here is what I know about girlfriends:


Girlfriends bring you casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you need help.


Girlfriends keep your children and your secrets.


Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't.


Girlfriends don't always tell you you're right, but they're usually honest.


Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices.


Girlfriends laugh with you and don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.


Girlfriends pull you out of jams.


Girlfriends help you get out of bad relationships.


Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment. Help you pack, then help you move.


Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby. (No matter in which order that happens!)


Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant, when the hard times come.


Girlfriends will drive through blizzards, rainstorms, hail, heat, and the gloom of night to get to you when your hour of need is desperate.


Girlfriends will listen when you lose a job or a friend.


Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.


Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.


Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved dies.


Girlfriends support you when the men in your life let you down.


Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when men pack up and go.


Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy and are ready to go out and kill what makes you unhappy.


Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Marriages fail. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will... But girlfriends are there... no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.... A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rule and walk beside you... or come in and carry you out.

SO, to my girlfriends, cousins, and extended family....


YOU BLESS MY LIFE!


The world wouldn't be the same without all of you, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other every day... And we need each other still.






Love to you all.



9 comments:

Kati said...

Love ya!

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AND THE CAT MAKES 5

AND THE CAT MAKES 5
Caesar, aka the "CAT", donning his baseball opening day attire.

Eldridge's Circa 1995