Napolean Dynamite is a geek in all terms of the word. The movie is about the most hilarious I have ever witnessed, but I think that is because I grew up in Utah, inc close proximity to Idaho where the movie was filmed. Napolean uses phrases like, "come ooooon, my lis are reallllly chaaaaped," when calling his older brother from school to bring him chapstick. His other phrases include, "I have really sweet skills, like numchuck skills, bow hunting skills ..." His favorite animal is a "Liger". A "liger" is his own artful creation that is a cross between a lion and a tiger. His best friend is an immigrant named Pedro. His older brother is in his mid thirties and spends his days, "chatting with sweet babes" and "training to become a cage fighter." His elder brother is about 30 lbs soaking wet, and also the world's biggest geak. Napoleans best line, "geeeeesh, goooosh!" to which he throws his head down or to the left in utter disgust. I share all of this with you ... because I am raising Napolean part II.
Drew is my 12 year-old son. Although he has absolutely no resemblance to Napolean, he has some of the same "sweet" lines. He has not created a "liger", but he has created his own world, including a club to which he and his dork friends are members. It is called, "we hate unicorns." Why do they hate unicorns? Who knows. It is the same random reason I can't get him to write anything else in his English class that doesn't involve war, killing, bayonettes and blood. He's become that weird kid we made fun of in Junior High/High School that drew dramatic pictures of wars, castles, war weapons, and in the smallest of print.
Drew's favorite phrase is Napoleanesque, "mooooooom, geeesh, gooosh!" He usually yells this, or mutters it under his breath, to which I respond, "come oooon, my lips are really chaappped!" This is met with a, "shut up." A word I would NEVER have uttered to my parents for fear of immediate retribution in the form of capitol punishment. Drew tries with all his might to navigate through the perils of middle school. However, he has managed to find his way to like minded little Napolean's that make up their own language (think liger), dress like slobs (so much for the thousands of dollars in Abercrombie, Aeropostale, American Eagle, etc his mother bought him for school), and have no idea what to think of girls, except they are wierd.
Caesar, our dog, also receives the Napolean treatment. Napolean has a Llama, we have a Shitzu. Napolean says, "come on you big lard, eat your dinner!" Drew says, "mom. what the freak, he's already fat!" when I ask him to feed and water the dog. Ask him to do a chore around the house, "moooooooom, nooooooo, I have to capture the second lair of (whatever) to get the (whatever) of the next world!" Hmmmm. If Napolean had his own laptop, no doubt he would also say such phrases. One day I caught Drew with a "secret codes and combinations" book for winning his whatever world on his whatever game on his laptop. I said, "hmmm, Drew, you are NOT living in the basement when you are 30." That was also met with a, "shut up." But, also an embarrassed hanging of the head because he knew I knew that this book was the final key to ultimate geek.
All this in mind, the one thing I can say that is relatively normal about Drew is that he is in CAP. No doubt Napolean would have not been in CAP if offered on the Idaho countryside. What is CAP? CAP is civil Air Patrol. I won't make to much fun of this organization, because it beats the hell out of boys scouts. It is mini air force, and they do NOT get merit badges for wiping their butts, or making an egg on the way to their "Eagle". Also, it's cheap. Don't get me started on the public fleecing of the BSA. The little CAP's train to be in the military when they are big. They help in natural disasters, they have line and rank, and Drew's commanding officer is a girl ... this, I love. Oh, and Drew isn't a moron like Napolean. For better or for worse, he is smart ... gifted and talented smart. Which is great, but only provides me with more fodder. The nest two weeks he and Bradyn are attending Gifted and Talented Camp. I call it Nerd Camp ... Drew is not amused.
We're hoping Drew grows out of the Napolean stage. We have made him watch the movie, repeatedly, and he still hasn't made the correlation. Maybe when he's older. For now, we will suffice loving our little unicorn hating, computer hacking, middle school navigating, mini Napolean. Love you Drew. - Mom
