You Can't Handle Drive Line!!!!

Drew (the 7th grader) is attending a charter school this year.  I won't tell you specifically WHICH charter school for fear he will be booted from the school.  It's one of the few local charter school in our district, and we were ecstatic he made it up the "waiting list" for this year.  However, I am findiing that charter schools are their own animal.  Despite amazing test scores, and Drew finally being "happy" managing the rigors of middle school, charter schools ... hmmmm.  Thus far, I have attended one back to school night. I was surrounded by clogs, broom skirts, no bras, and questionable personal hygiene.  I wanted to take off my bra to fit in, but Jon suggested at 4 months pregnant, this wouldn't be pleasant for anyone.  I concur.   

The principal was very excited about back to school night.  So much so that he made the comment, (seriously, I can't make this up), "Students and parents, this is my favorite night of the year, I am just BURSTING with excitment!  In fact, I am bursting with so much excitement, those of you in the front row jsut might have to wipe it off your front brow."  I tried to look around the gymnasium at other parents and students to see if their mind went the same place as mine ... but I was to involved trying to get my shaking husband (shaking uncontrollably with inner laughter so he would not burst) to pull it together.  Noone, from my viewpoint, seemed bothered by the bursting principal.  Jon had to leave the gym.

The "dean of students" talked about creating relationships with the students to maintain communication and thus high grades/test scores.  They actually have quite the intervention system in place for kids who even begin to struggle.  I was impressed.  However, in their quest to create relationships, there are certain tactics put into place I think better reserved for a pre school classroom (at least that's the last place I saw this tactic utilized, in Bradyn's MONTESSORI preschool where feelings are VERY important).  There is ... wait for it ... daily circle time.  Now, you have to understand, Drew is in 7th grade.  Please imagine in your heads what YOUR 7th grade year was like.  Would "circle time" EVER have happened without utter hysterical laughter and a crying hopeless teacher?  No, it would not.

I asked Drew after the meeting about circle time.  He was insistent he had no idea what I was talking about.  I probed further and asked Drew if during said cirlce time the person holding the stick was the only person who could speak.  Long silence ... "it's a flower."  It's a what?  "Freaking hell mom, it's a flower, okay, and it means love and peace ... "  I don't remember exactly what the rest of the flower meant ... because at this point I had lost all semblance of control and with my old pregnant uterus pushing down on my old bladder, peeing my pants was becoming inevitable.  Hmmm, so I probed further and asked Drew more about "circle time".  He tried desperately to defend this special time of day saying, "geez mom, okay, we all turn our chairs around and are in a circle!"  What do you talk about in circle time?  "I dunno."  Seriously, do you have circle time every day?  "Fine, we do, today we talked about if we were a superhero what power would we have?"  Hmmm, what was your power?  "To fly ..."  In my mind I thought, "perhaps to fly out of circle time?" 

Since the parents of the charter school have bought into this "circle time" you can only imagine the vast amount of extra time on their hands ensuring their children's safety and success.  Many of these children are still breastfeeding, I'm pretty sure, no concrete evidence.  Which leads me to carpool ... in public school you pick up your kid and at the end of the day if there are any kids left the office may get worried and call you, maybe.  The public school is pretty content with the fact that if your kid comes back the next day, they were probably picked up by someone the  day before and made it home.

Charter school ... a carpool nightmare lovingly referred to as “drive line”. Drive line at charter school involves a higher advanced degree of education to be understood. I asked if there was a “drive line” class and was snickered at for my obvious idiocy. There are numbers assigned to kids, blue tooth devices flashing on television screens in each classroom when said numbers enter the drive line parking lot so students can exit said classrooms, and parents vying to be on the “car pool” list. Apparently car pool list is a special honor reserved for the parents that sign up early enough in the summer, and have multiple kids in their SUV’s and mini vans. Personally, I’m pretty sure it’s for the parents who donate the most $ to Flagstaff … since we’ve already been hit up twice for money … after paying the $300 in “student fees”. Oh, and to put lemon juice in an already obvious drive line open wound, the school is being sued by the business park across the street for not getting said parents OUT of the street fast enough during drive line.

I don’t think anyone at chsrter school has time to graph CSAP scores, they’re still trying to master drive line. Perhaps this complicated drive line system could be enlisted at all schools ... and start charging a per kid $300 student fee every year. You could use the fee to pay instructors to teach the new drive line system, and pay for the blue tooth devices and subsequent computerized system telling kids in each classroom when their number comes up and they are excused. Parents would be so engrossed and confused, CSAP scores will no longer be important … or any other classroom activity in general. Your teachers will cheer for the welcome break from complaining parents with WAAAAY to much time on their hands. Maybe that’s charter school's evil plan?

Despite it all, drive line, circle time, and a principal bursting with excitement, Drew's happy and at the end of the day that's what is most important.  Bradyn will never leave public school, he's far to social ... and I'm pretty sure the first day of circle time would be his last.  Bradyn isn't a quiet follower like his brother, he'd probably have to make a comment ... which would trigger a phone call home ... which would be his last day.