The Cat Makes 5

There are two requirements that face our children from conception ... they must be male, (as is evident from the obvious lack of any females in our little genetic codes) and they must be neurotic with at least ONE thing. Fulfilling these two obligations makes you the child of Jon and Cortney Eldridge.

I have written all to often about the neurotic behaviors of my first two children Drew (the pack leader) and Bradyn (the ultimate middle child). Let me introduce you to neurotic little genetic code #3, Caden. (See left) Notice the sheepish little grin on his face ... don't be fooled, he, like his brothers, is naughty all the way through and if you take your eyes off of him for a second, you're screwed. That wasn't a poetic way of writing, but it's the only definition, you are truly screwed if you leave this child to his own devices for more than 5 seconds.

Caden's neurotic behaviors range from a little wierd to truly absurd. Recently Caden has realized that he is an upwardly mobile creature, and no longer victim to crawling his way about town. I think the whole walking thing really took off when he spent some time outside crawling on the sidewalk with bare knees. He was fine at first, then I noticed he was doing some wierd army sort of Mowgli (think Jungle Book) monkey crawl. His feet were on the ground, and his palms were on the ground, and his rear was higher than his head. It saved his knees, but I think his palms got sore, because suddenly he was moving slowly into a more upward position, and wala! Now, he walks ... everywhere.

To most, walking is like breathing, you just do it. To Caden, walking is like ... being the most powerful superhero in the WORLD! He walks from room to room with his rounded little belly shoved forward, strutting his little toddler strut, very proud that he is now upward and now longer at level with the dog ... which has solidified Caden's place in the dog versus baby world that Caden is now the ALPHA and Caesar has jsut given up on life all together. Occasionally Caden will establish his obvious dominance over his older brothers as well. He enters a room, (okay, struts in the room in only a diaper) sticks his little arm up and finger out right at his brothers and says, "Wababatagagbaabay!!!" I have no idea what that means, but it is apparently very important judging from Caden's tone of voice. I think he is telling his brothers to bow to his obvious dominance. They don't, they laugh, and Caden leaves the room, head down, mumbling what I can loosely translate to be, "bite my ass."

Since Caden is "walking", he now also assumes everything is a sort of "riding" device. anything not nailed down is Caden's "skateboard" including my giant glass serving dish. One foot on the dish, and one foot on the ceramic tile floor, and that thing moves like a skateboard. Who knew? He has mastered the phrase, "uh-oh!"and when things truly get ridiculous with his brothers he hollers, "mamamammamamaaaaaaa!" Already tattling. Great. His worst trait, he bites. But he's not a mean biter and he never does it in retaliation or as a cage fighting maneuver, he does it because he "loves you". But, have you ever had your inner thigh clenched down on by the chompers of a 15 month old who thinks he is "loving you" as your cooking dinner? It's a sort of burning, seething pain that makes you think two things, "if I have enough loose thigh skin down there that the kid can chomp down, it's time for some more squats at the gym, don't yell, don't flinch, he thinks he's loving you!"

Caden's favorite toys are "little people". He got a truckload of "little people" and accessories for his birthday from Kristin and Ryan, Mark Sr. Jr. and Donna Magoon. I would like to thank them for the little people. I would like to thank them at 3 a.m. when I wake up to go to the bathroom and step on an ill placed "little people" and/or prop for the little people. Little people now cover my house ... and if I ever "lose" Caden, I just follow the trail of "little people", it's like breadcrumbs, and at the end there is always a Caden.

But, my all time favorite neurotic behavior of Caden's is his love of all things "soft and snuggly". He loves his "boon" from his Grandma Fish ... but I am afraid as of late the "boon" has taken a back seat to a new love ... Mommy's silk pajama bottoms. Caden stole them from my dresser drawer one night, wrapped them around his head, and proceeded to strut around grinning and then fell to the floor and "nuzzled" his head into my pajama bottoms. Since he's the third child and we don't question, but rather honor all things neurotic our children do, we went ahead and let him sleep with the said pajama bottoms. That was 3 weeks ago. He still sleeps with the pajama bottoms ... my little sister Kati said her husband was worried about their little one "suffocating" because when he sleeps he buries his head in his "boon" ... I told my sister that Caden sleeps with pajama legs wrapped around his neck, and he's okay, so Juan should simmer down, Emerson will be fine. Hey, my pajama bottoms, they are soft, I sort of miss wearing them!

There is more, so much more, but I just saw a "little people" whiz past my head ... which means Caden is soon to follow. Again, thanks for the little people Gelinas and Magoon families! = )