The End is Near ...

Baby update from ultrasound and appointment yesterday … I am 36 weeks on Saturday, the baby by all accounts is perfectly healthy … and is a few ounces shy of 7 lbs … they gain about 1-2 lbs the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, I am being induced March 9th if he hasn’t already arrived (that’s 39 weeks). All of this means:A. I will be giving birth to a freaking toddler WITH a giant head like his brothers.B. They will have to dynamite him out, like his brothers, because when they “checked” me today I show NO SIGNS of being ready to have a baby … oh, except for the constant pelvic pressure and contractions from that do absolutely nothing but make me tired and grouchy and HURT.C. If this baby is as large as they think, I will be tearing Jon’s testicles from his body with my bare hands … just so he can experience the “miracle” of birth with me. D. Today a complete stranger, and I mean a COMPLETE stranger, walked up to me and started rubbing my belly and asking me when I was due. I almost slapped the living hell out of her, and I would have, if I wasn’t so tired I could barely see straight much lift my hand to slap her. I was also fearful if I started slapping her I might not stop. So I just muttered, “never, I am never due, I am going to just keep this baby in utero for the next 18 years or so … I mean, 3 weeks.” E. Will I be asking for drugs or going “natural” … God made drugs for a reason and I plan on taking advantage of anything they will give me as well as all illegal street narcotics I can pick up on my way into the hospital from the locals in my town. Will I be having a Cesarean or natural? As “natural” as you can be when you are highly medicated and the nurse has to instruct you when to push because you can’t feel the contractions … or your legs .. or anything from the waist down. But if he is as huge as they predict that whole natural” thing might change (and I might want it to!) and I will be having a Cesarean. F. Jon is still alive, but he doesn’t say much these days … I think it’s fear. Poor Jon.G. The crib and dresser/changer finally arrived from the factory to the store … despite the fact that the store insisted they send it all “freight” shipping and I “might” get it by the end of the month (even though I ordered it in PLENTY of time for a much earlier delivery!). Needless to say, the operator on the other end of that phone call was informed that her job, indeed her life, would be in jeopardy because I would hunt her down no matter where she hid if this child arrived BEFORE said crib and changer were set up neatly in the nursery, that I have very carefully prepared … and it is not MY fault that NO STORE on the eastern seaboard sees fit to carry a black crib and changer because IF THEY KEPT UP with things, they would know that black is very trendy right now, not maple or white or pecan or whatever they had “plenty” of! Please pray for an early delivery … Love,cortney

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: SURPRISE BABY SHOWER 2008

Click below to see details about my SURPRISE baby shower!
SURPRISE BABY SHOWER 2008

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: I LICKED IT ...

You lick it, you own it ... backfired! Click below to read on ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: I LICKED IT ...