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The End is Near ...

Baby update from ultrasound and appointment yesterday … I am 36 weeks on Saturday, the baby by all accounts is perfectly healthy … and is a few ounces shy of 7 lbs … they gain about 1-2 lbs the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, I am being induced March 9th if he hasn’t already arrived (that’s 39 weeks). All of this means:A. I will be giving birth to a freaking toddler WITH a giant head like his brothers.B. They will have to dynamite him out, like his brothers, because when they “checked” me today I show NO SIGNS of being ready to have a baby … oh, except for the constant pelvic pressure and contractions from that do absolutely nothing but make me tired and grouchy and HURT.C. If this baby is as large as they think, I will be tearing Jon’s testicles from his body with my bare hands … just so he can experience the “miracle” of birth with me. D. Today a complete stranger, and I mean a COMPLETE stranger, walked up to me and started rubbing my belly and asking me when I was due. I almost slapped the living hell out of her, and I would have, if I wasn’t so tired I could barely see straight much lift my hand to slap her. I was also fearful if I started slapping her I might not stop. So I just muttered, “never, I am never due, I am going to just keep this baby in utero for the next 18 years or so … I mean, 3 weeks.” E. Will I be asking for drugs or going “natural” … God made drugs for a reason and I plan on taking advantage of anything they will give me as well as all illegal street narcotics I can pick up on my way into the hospital from the locals in my town. Will I be having a Cesarean or natural? As “natural” as you can be when you are highly medicated and the nurse has to instruct you when to push because you can’t feel the contractions … or your legs .. or anything from the waist down. But if he is as huge as they predict that whole natural” thing might change (and I might want it to!) and I will be having a Cesarean. F. Jon is still alive, but he doesn’t say much these days … I think it’s fear. Poor Jon.G. The crib and dresser/changer finally arrived from the factory to the store … despite the fact that the store insisted they send it all “freight” shipping and I “might” get it by the end of the month (even though I ordered it in PLENTY of time for a much earlier delivery!). Needless to say, the operator on the other end of that phone call was informed that her job, indeed her life, would be in jeopardy because I would hunt her down no matter where she hid if this child arrived BEFORE said crib and changer were set up neatly in the nursery, that I have very carefully prepared … and it is not MY fault that NO STORE on the eastern seaboard sees fit to carry a black crib and changer because IF THEY KEPT UP with things, they would know that black is very trendy right now, not maple or white or pecan or whatever they had “plenty” of! Please pray for an early delivery … Love,cortney

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: SURPRISE BABY SHOWER 2008

Click below to see details about my SURPRISE baby shower!
SURPRISE BABY SHOWER 2008

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: I LICKED IT ...

You lick it, you own it ... backfired! Click below to read on ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: I LICKED IT ...

SURPRISE BABY SHOWER 2008

SURPRISE!
Friends ....

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

SURPRISE BABY SHOWER!

My girlfriend, Candie, threw me a surprise baby shower yesterday! I was completely shocked! No, I don't usually dress up ... fortunately for me, the baby shower was "disguised" as after church Sunday brunch so I was still in my church clothes! This is a picture she took of me with my "necklace". The little hanging thing hangs nicely off my EXPANDING belly and reads something like, "expecting mom!". I better be expecting ... or I am on the fast track to a heart attack!

The shower was beautiful and the food was incredible! My friends gave the baby and I absolutely amazing gifts that I am still in shock about! It was so much fun to just hang out with my girlfriends and take a "breather" from the day to day pregnancy ucks. I was so overwhelmed and surprised I couldn't even cry... now that's saying alot for a pregnant girl! Now Caden has all of his baby gear... anytime he's ready, I'm ready to be done being pregnant! There is NO MORE ROOM for him to grow!

UNO Pizzaria New Hampshire ...

In case you cannot read the below scanned letter, I have "translated" changing none of the spelling or grammar so that you can get the full emotional impact of the "UNO Pizzaria" incident. Yes, in a nutshell, (or fingernail) I ordered a pasta dish there called Spinoccoli. The serving was huge, so I took the remainder home to eat the next day. I warmed it up, took a big bite out of it, and pulled a fingernail (not mine, mind you, and not like a lee press on nail., someone's literal bit off and chewed fingernail) from between my teeth. I called UNO to express my "displeasure" and this was my response letter. Uh, yeah. I can laugh about it now. Just another reason I love this place!

"Dear Courtney Eldridge (notice the wrong name spelling), I wouuld first like to apologize to you for finding a finger nail insiide your left over spinnocolis. i can understand that feeling you must have had. We at UNO's strive for 100% cleanliness and sanitation but we missed out on this opportunity. Our standard when it come to food preperation is above and beyond what the state of New Hampshire is, but we failed. I myself has taken it that all of the kitchen staff from the dishwashers to the line cook wear gloves at all times. This is also a compamy policy that we failed to achieve that day. I know it will be tough to come back to our location but enclosed is a $40.00 gift vard good any any UNO location. Again our deepest apology and I hope you give us here in Tilton another try as we strive to be the best in our class."

Creating Life by The Angry Drunk

WARNING: Before reading on I have decided that the latter of this pregnancy will be referred to as the "angry drunk" phase. My comments are a tad grouchy and definately uninhibited. So, if you are offended, remember, the hormones of pregnancy have made me an angry drunk. Oh this thing we call "creating life ...." hmmmm. I would post a phot of myself as of today, but I am not sure what the max weight limit is on personage posting on the internet and if harpooning via cyberspace is even legalized. Figured I would not take any chances. Just imagine a 5'11" Amazone with girly hair, a pale face (that would be the anemia), and a look of tired disdain on her face. Got that visual? Yep, that's me.

I am the worst at communication when the winter rolls in. We hibernate like a bunch of bears over here! I think this pregnancy (from hell, mind you) has just beaten the wind right out of my sails. Getting BIG is an understatement. Everyone says, “you look great!” but I feel like a tank. Baby is good, despite every scare known to man being thrown our direction this time around. It seemed like for a while every time I went to the ob there was more “bad news”. Here’s a brief recap:
Gestational diabetes – check
Diabetic “rage” episodes – check (basically, my sugar is off, my hormones are off, and Jon gets things thrown at him and then I start to cry)
Chest palpitations – check (on me, not the kid)
Flu/Sinus/Crap – check
Baby is too big for dates (which means I am also to big for dates ... grrrrr!) – check
6 ultrasounds, two high level – check
To much amniotic fluid – check
Protein in the urine – check
Bladder infection – check
2 gall bladder attacks, one ER visit worthy and a demurral shot later – check (no problems EVER with gall bladder until THIS PREGNANCY … they are removing gall bladder after I have this critter)
And the number one, favorite “never ever had before with either of my other pregnancies”, I think I have hemorrhoids – check

As of today I am officially 32 weeks and some days. Docs are “officially” inducing labor at 39 weeks (cause captain fathead is a diabetic “big” baby and is already 4 lbs so they don’t want me to have a toddler … uh-huh) but toying with the idea of a couple weeks sooner than that. The amniotic fluid issue resolved itself, I now take 2 shots of insulin a day, prick my finger 5 times a day to test my blood, and make sure I drink cranberry juice to avoid any more bladder infections. Ultrasound yesterday revealed the following:
The baby has really big feet – check
The baby has a really big head – check
The baby is just really big – check
I think the baby flipped me off – check
The baby has hair – check
The baby is a very PROUD boy - check

On Monday I start to go to the doctor 2 times a week for non stress testing and “checking” on captain fatheads growth pattern. The insulin makes me “bloated” and gain weight so that has been a really happy side effect to which the doctor assures me will come off after I have the baby. Uh-huh. As for captain fathead, he seems to be healthy and happy in his little amniotic environment. I am pretty sure I have internal bleeding because he has ADHD for sure and never stops kicking the hell out of me. He prefers 2 am kicks that literally shake my whole body and wake me up from what little sleep I can get because of the massive insomnia. Oh wait, I forgot, I also have Restless Leg Syndrome now. I am super tired, I lay down in the bed, and my legs want to PARTY, PARTY! Doc says it is a hormone thing and totally normal. Uh-huh. You will REGRET you asked ME for an update!

Honestly, I am in the final stretch and looking forward to being NOT PREGNANT. I finally bought pacifiers the other day (my first actual baby purchase) so I think I am accepting now that we are going to have a baby here in the house. I have organized all the hand me down clothes and he will have no less than 5 total outfit changes (including shoes and hats) every day to accommodate his bulging hand me down pile. He has 2 patriots bibs and 2 red sox bibs, both the same size and style, all from 4 different people. Bunch of weird Yankees and their sports. I am all set on baby blankets (found my stash, so excited!), and Roo is bringing me a car seat and burp rags and bottles. Other than that, I got nothing. I mean NOTHING. We gave it ALL AWAY and THEN found out we were expecting. So, we’re starting from scratch for one kid. Mom volunteered to buy us a crib. Jon himmed and hawed about her offer for a couple days (his male ego), but then got the oil bill and the weather report predicting MORE COLD and said, “okay, the price of oil took my pride away, your Mom is officially AWESOME!” I admit, she is very nice… or she doesn’t want her grandchild sleeping in a drawer. There might be an ulterior motive! Hahah! We are forking out about $700 month for heating oil (*I love NEW ENGLAND!) so we are taking her up on her crib offer! I was really thinking hey, it’s the third kid, he can sleep in a drawer, right? This poor child. Looking at an end of February first part of March delivery.

AND, THAT’S JUST ME … Jon is busier than ever at work, sliding into the home plate on his Masters Degree (yeah!) and basically putting up with his completely nutsy, tired, large as a tank wife. Jon is now the Stake Athletics Director (okay, let’s be h9oenst here, the basketball king of the stake). He just got called and is a little iffy about WHAT they want him to do since there was no program, but he loves all sports so he will get something figured out. He is a SUPER DAD and always makes times to take the boys sledding, watch movies, etc. while mom sleeps, yes sleeps, all the time. Jon leaves for Chicago on Tuesday next week and will be back Thursday or Friday so the kids and I manage without the Dad for a few days. He hates leaving, but it is some special “butt kissing meeting” to which he must show his face and act like he has manners. Whatever he needs to do t okeep the money coming down the pipeline so we can pay for this baby, he’ll be there!

Drew is doing well in his duties as the fourth grade president and has recently decided that Hillary Clinton is the anti-Christ (sans his father’s gentle hints about his own Hillary opinions) and only lesbians and morons voted for her and New Hampshire should be ashamed. I must admit, in our small, but openly lesbian town the lesbians did come out in vast numbers and getting to the voting stations involved passing through some rather large, uni-browed, flannel, rainbow and girl power t-shirts on our local clan of lesbians all supporting Hillary. The subarus were lined up complete with the “day without fairies is a day without magic” bumper stickers and the overwhelming stench of Patchouli and Marijuana filled the air. It was “interesting”, and then Hillary won so now Jon thinks the lesbians have a larger voice here than he originally thought and he is “concerned” for his boy Mitt. Poor Jon. He and Drew share Hillary sucks stories with one another. Drew also officially has a :girlfriend”. Whatever that means when you are 10. She calls the house nightly (hussy) and I have recently had to veto her phone calls to a couple of times a week for 10 minute intervals. Drew is just bored when she calls and says, “uh-huh” a lot. I am NOT ready for these over aggressive females in my son’s life! Let them be kids!!! AUGH!

Bradyn, well, Bradyn has become my birthing partner since Jon is always working. He can now work the Doppler at the ob office and find the babies heartbeat and he squeals at the “penius” when it comes into view on the ultrasound. For the most part he keeps telling me I am getting fatter and fatter and maybe I should not eat anymore or I will get to fat! Poor kid. I think he gave up that there is a baby in there! I have had a lot of Braxton hicks contractions and I will just sort of sit and breathe as the dog comes and sits right at my feet and follows me around and Bradyn says, “okay mom, just breathe through the pain.” Poor kid! His wife will never have babies! He’ll be to wierded out about his own mother’s pregnancy! We have all had the sickies for the last month with one thing or another and we now have the Bishopbric calling to see if we are inactive. Nope, just sick, all the time!

Now, how is YOUR life?!??! I’ll have to be a better blogger and stay in touch more when I get done having my body invaded by the body snatchers. In the final finish … light at the end of my tunnel and darkness at the end of Jon’s as he stares down the barrel of the snip snip doctor. Lucky, lucky Jon.
Love,
cort

Las Vegas to New Hampshire to WHAT?!?!

Dear Family and Friends,

If you have made it to our blog site, congratulations! You are now seeing the first Eldridge family Christmas letter to make it out in two years! This also means that you are the proud bearer of a Christmas card from us, also not having made it out in the last two years! We’ve been a little busy to say the least! I know it has been an anxious couple of years for all of you, not getting this annual gem of a letter, so I will try to make this worth the read.

The Eldridge’s waved goodbye to the Air Force and sunny Las Vegas approximately 2 years ago. We packed the kids and the dog into the Expedition and started our cross-country trek to New Hampshire. The dog, Caesar, is still suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder from 5 days in the car with his brothers, but the kids and I managed to maintain minimal sanity with multiple DVD’s.

Drew … oh Drew. Drew is 10 years old now …, which still makes me 21 years old. I know, amazing. Drew has rolled with the punches like any good former military brat and endured the moves, the new homes, and new schools with the best of them. We took a sigh of relief noting that this year, 4th grade for Drew, is the first time he will attend a school 2 years in a row! Drew has hit the ground running in his new school. He was voted to be both the 3rd and 4th grade President! His political ambitions seem endless, and I spend a lot of time making “campaign bribes” ordered from Oriental Trading Company every fall to hand out to his constituents. Drew loves school, his teachers, and even gym class! This year he started playing the “recorder” in the 4th grade “band”. He and his fellow “recorder” players are mastering only the hits … Hot Cross Buns. When he is not rendering the family speechless with hours of entertainment on the recorder, Drew has been involved in Baseball, Karate, Kung-Fu, swimming, camping, frog hunting, neighborhood domination, and anything computer.

Bradyn turned five this year. He has adjusted well to his new Yankee status and has even added words like, “wicked” to his vocabulary and deleted letters like “r”. I am concerned about his regional dialect, but figure he sounds like his Yankee children counterparts, so we will let it go for now. Bradyn, unlike his “academically inclined” older sibling, would rather play with friends 24 hours a day, ride his bike, or throw around any sort of ball. Our little social butterfly also participated in Karate, Kung Fu, swimming, camping, and soccer. He loved ALL of them and can’t wait for baseball little league in the spring. He is finally old enough! Bradyn spends his days at home with Mom these days waiting for kindergarten next year. He has discovered the X-Box and vying for position with his older brother. He has proven what we always warned Drew about … be nice to Bradyn, he will be bigger than you one day. Enough said. Despite his antics, Bradyn keeps us laughing with his endearing little grin, and spit and vinegar personality.

In September 2005, Jon started his new career with Jones Lang LaSalle at Fidelity Investments as a Project Manager. Did you understand that mouthful? Within 6 months, Jon was promoted to a facilities manager. A month later, he graduated from school (GOOOO Jon!) with his Bachelor’s Degree. Jon didn’t want to break the education rhythm, so he headed straight into his Executive Masters Degree program, which he will finish this summer. Jon was recruited to Aramark Corporation early this summer doing his same career. He took the job … for three months, and was “re-recruited” by Jones Lang La Salle to manage another client, Motorola. Translation of “re-recruited” – come back and we will pay you more. Jon is officially back with Jones Lang LaSalle, working with his new client, Motorola. He LOVES his job, his new “Q” phone, and that is all that matters!

In his spare time, ha-ha, Jon has coached a 12-year-old “majors” baseball team in our little town, served on the baseball little league board, and is now the church stake physical activities director. Oh, did I mention he also plays indoor soccer, hunts, fishes, camps, goes to Red Sox and Patriots games, and is generally is loving being back in “New England” so he can watch New England sports all the time … whenever he wants!

As for me, I am adjusting to the Yankee way of life. I can’t find good grits here, but I have found I am becoming quite the Maple syrup connoisseur. Until recently, I have been teaching aerobics and doing some personal training. I LOVED teaching and training, but my body, and more importantly my poor hips, gave out on me early into my pregnancy. During a class I stepped up, my hips stayed down, and thus ended my fitness career for NOW! I am still carting the kids around, started a book club, volunteering at Drew’s school, have almost finished MY school, (2 classes left, yes, both math, I may never graduate), gardening, crafting, camping & hiking, (yes, I camp and hike now, heaven help us all)etc. etc. My neighborhood has dubbed me “Bree Van decamp” (from desperate housewives fame) because I apparently am a little “obsessed” with my domestic details. Overall, I am staying busy and contented.

If you haven’t heard yet, (yeah right!) Jon and I are expecting our third in March. This was a “surprise” for both of us, but one we are finding to be a grateful gift. Caden George Eldridge (yes, ANOTHER boy), is due to make his arrival sometime in early March. So far, Caden stays busy kicking me incessantly, resting on whatever nerve is most uncomfortable for his mother, “teasing” his brothers with kicks in response to their talking, and gaining weight steadily. Jon and I are both still a little in shock, but ready or not, we are welcoming a third.

Jon and I look back on the last couple of years and remain amazed at the blessings Heavenly Father has given our family. We are happy, healthy, have amazing friends and family, and are enjoying our new adventures daily. If you are ever in New England, we have a lovely “guest suite” complete with a 6 a.m. wake up call from Bradyn (after all, Captain Social is the entertainment committee here at the house, and activities begin EARLY!). However, I can promise some warm maple syrup with your early breakfast! We love and miss all of you.

Here’s wishing all of you best wishes for the
Holidays and upcoming New Year!

Love,
The Eldridges Jon, Cortney, Bradyn, Drew, Bradyn, Caden,
and Caesar (woof!)

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Where Do Babies Come From?

Bradyn discusses the finer details of conception ... click below to read on!
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Where Do Babies Come From?

I LICKED IT ...

Bradyn ... a few months ago we took Bradyn to a party somewhere. Where, I don't recall, but what I do recall is him utilizing one of his MANY tricks to "get what he wants". Now, Bradyn's love affair with food is well documented, but even fat kids across the world would be proud at this latest antic. While going through the "buffet line" of sorts, Bradyn was pointing out what he wanted, etc. At the end of the table were WAY TO MANY assorted desserts and I told Bradyn he could have ONE. This was obviously NOT ENOUGH in his eyes. He did manage to choose one, but as I went to pick it up and put it on his plate I noticed his grubby little hand picking up another dessert, bring it to his mouth, and lick it. Yep, grabbed the cookie, licked it, and put it back on the plate for someone else to enjoy. I immediately informed him he could NOT do that and now he had to have that cookie. Okay, fast forward 2 months later.

A few days ago Bradyn was in the grocery store with me. He and his brother were running around grabbing things for me (it is the only method I have to keep them busy, send them on "missions" for produce). In their travels between oranges and lettuce Bradyn found a shelf of magazines. One caught his eye (Nickelodeon or something)and he brought it to me. He asked if he could have it and I of course said, "no". He then said, "but mom, I already licked it." He was very serious and it was all I could do to not puke at the fact he was licking a magazine 40 thousand other grubby hands had probab;y parused and simultaneously laugh. He didn't get the magazine. Had to prove a point.

Bradyn Logic # 234: If you want something really, really bad and you don't see any other way to get it ... lick it, then it's yours.

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Wanted: One criminal defense attorney for 2 boys charged with aiding and imbedding and war crimes... oh yeah, read on. Click below.
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Hawaiian Punch Experiments

I have decided that being a mom to boys carries with it a requirement that one possess a sense of humor. If one was not in possession of said sense of humor, they would spend their parenting of boys precious time seeking professional help for either themselves OR their boys ... convinced that either you or the boys are NUTS. Today, was one of those nuts days. There are occasions that the plans my boys come up with are well thought out ... well, not so well thought out as taking days of planning before they sometimes literally blow up. A few days ago such a plan, unbeknownst to me, was being launched. Drew and Bradyn took a GIANT Sam's club size container of Hawaiian punch and stuck it in the outside freezer. I suppose it had been there for a couple of days, not sure. A few days into the "freezing" the boys were plaing outside. I assumed they were riding their bikes, playing in the sandpile, you know, boy things. I was sitting in hte front room talking with a friend that had stopped in for a visit. Out of hte corner of my eye I suddenly noticed Drew and one of his buddies from the neighborhood running upstairs ... somehting was up. I watched as they came running back down the stairs with something in their hands. I ordered, "gentleman, STOP, turn around, WHAT is in your hands?" The two partners in crime were already at the garage door and Drew threw soemthing in the garage, showed me his hands, and said, "nothing!" Uh-huh. I grilled the two of them for about two minutes, then looked outside the garage door to see what Drew had "dropped". There was nothing on the ground so I grilled Drew again saying, "WHAT was it and WHERE is it?!" Drew hollered, "okay, okay, Bradyn took it!" What? Took what? "The tape!" yelled Drew and his friend in tandem. What the heck? Tape? For what? I didn't need to ask anymore as I looked out onto the driveway to see Brdyn trying deperately to "clean up" the mess that was made. Apparerntly after the"freezing" of the Hawaiian punch, the boys decided that it was obviusly time to beat it with a hammer to see what happens. It made a small hole in the side of hte punch, which under the frozen pressure, started to "spew" Hawaiian Punch. The tape? Well, that was to clean it up. There sat Bradyn, getting spewed at from all sides by red Hawaiin punch as he tried desperately to "tape" the container. He was red, sticky, and covered. Needless to say,friends, "went home" and the boys were put on clean up duty and lockdown. When I asked WHAT had happened they very matter of factly told me, "what? we froze it and hit it with a hammer?" like I was an idiot for asking. Uh-huh. Please, please, let this next child be a girl with more than one working brain cell.

ANNOUNCEMENT ...

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JONS BIRTHDAY CARD

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Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Brothers in CRIME
I have two boys, ages 5 and 10. One would think that their obvious age gap would leave them to pretty much ignore one another. However, as their ages have increased, so to has their utter disgust with one another from one moment to the next. Their antics don't often involve any other individuals (sometimes the poor dog is left in the crossfire), thank goodness. For the most part, their turf disputes leave them both mortified that I cannot see justification for their criminal acts. Let's take one situation in particular, to describe the 4 justifications for criminal defenses.
Drew (age 10) and Bradyn (age 5) are playing outside. Their latest antics involve the catching of frogs in the woods behind the house. There is never just one frog, there is often more than one, cramped inside their little bucket like POW's waiting for the end that won't come soon enough. The boys "love" the frogs all day, until I force them to release the frogs back to the wild after dinner. The frogs currently suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and are seeking therapeutic interventions as we speak. On one such day, Bradyn (the 5 year-old) assumed that frogs liked two things ... being held over the bucket by one leg and then being released back into the wild as he screamed and chased them and brought them back to the bucket. Drew (the 10 year-old) is a bit more realistic, and realized holding them by one leg would decrease their jumping ability, and chasing them after releasing them repeatedly just didn't make sense ... what if Bradyn didn't catch them and put them back (run frogs, run). On one such day, Bradyn first grabbed said frog and held it dangling, by one leg, over the bucket. Drew smacked Bradyn in the back of the head and the frog was "released" as Bradyn went to retaliate. As his little 5 year-old fists of fury started to fly, Drew realized the frog was jumping away and he retaliated in kind again expressing physical violence towards his younger brother.
By the time the little delinquents brought their case to the judge, (myself) both were crying and screaming incoherently and their defense now fell under the jurisdiction of the courts (their bedroom and their mom, arms crossed, wondering why I am pregnant with a third and didn't just stop at one child). First, the eldest claimed DURESS. The frog, apparently, through means of ESP only known to my children, informed the eldest that unless he smacked his younger brother for holding him above the bucket by the leg, then he would just hop away into the sunset. Therefore, under amphibian DURESS, the eldest wacked his brother in the head so the frog would not hop away. Second, the youngest claimed SELF-DEFENSE in retaliation to his brother's aforementioned smack to the head. He claimed his use of "non deadly force" was reasonable in that he did not provoke his elder brother's attack. He also mentioned that perhaps he would be using "deadly force" if his brother wacked him in the head again without notice. Third, the eldest then claimed NECESSITY in again wacking his brother in the head a second time because the frog was released in the first head wacking attack. Of course, the harm and evil sought to be avoided (the frog remaining in the bucket) was no longer a possibility as the initial wack to the head released the frog from the startled younger brother who then came after his elder brother threatening with non-deadly force possibly escalating to deadly force! The law of the house states, "don't touch each other!" but in this case, the NECESSITY outweighed the law ... apparently. The judge wasn't hearing any of it, so both criminals put their heads together to claim a final defense, ENTRAPMENT. The eldest claimed that had I stopped with having one child then he could have all of the frogs to himself and he would not feel inclined to resort to violent action to protect the rights of the amphibian creatures of the world. The youngest claimed that had the judge (mom, myself) just let him play with frogs by himself, like he had been doing all day while the other criminal was in school, then he would not have gotten wacked in the head forcing him to exhibit non-deadly and threatening deadly force. DURESS, SELF-DEFENSE, NECESSITY, ENTRAPMENT. No matter how you look at it, the judge threw the book at both of them (augh!) and they spent the evening in a juvenile delinquency facility (their bedroom) waiting for the warden (Dad) to release them from their cells. Both are expected to do "hard time" before their 18th birthday ... at which point the judge will release them into the wilds of society. Good luck to you all. “

Patuckaway State Park, NH 2007

Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

CAMPING AT PATUCKAWAY STATE PARK ...

Early in the Summer, we went camping with friends to Patackuway State Park. It was absolutely GORGEOUS there. Our campsite was literally at the edge of our own little private beach. There were a family of ducks (and by the end of our time there, I am fairly certain they had invited friends) who were OBVIOUSLY domesticated. They walked right into our campsite, the mother and babies, and we of course obliged and the kids managed to feed them AT LEAST 2 boxes of fishy crackers, and graham crackers. The second day we were there, I was up earlier than anyone else and started to make breakfast. In a moment, there were the ducks, ready for breakfast. Since I was the only one in sight, they actually ate right out of my hand and we chatted about the morning. Yes, not only did I camp, I talked to the wildlife. We attempted to go on a hike, but apparently hiking through a "marshland" in muggy weather is not the best idea. I think the blackflies and mosquitos had not seen human flesh in that part of the woods all year! THe further into the hike we got, the more we noticed the bugs seemed to be getting more "aggressive". Jon swears they were organizing troops and executing advanced "dive bombing" missions. Our friends, Candy and her son Tyler, went ahead of the group to scout out the situation to see if we should even go on. After a few minutes, we suddenly see Candy and Tyler running and flailing their arms coming at us screaming, "RUN!!!" with a cloud of dive bombing bugs in their wake! I WISH I had captured that picture. Apparently, further up the trail, and the fact that Candy and Tyler had not taken any reinforcements, the black flies and mosquitos organized a posse to take them out. They were helpless to the bugs masterplanned attack, and Candy grabbed Tyler, attached him firmly to her side, and started to RUN back to the rest of us. She finally dropped Tyler, and started flailing her arms to warn the rest of us. We all started running back out of the woods screaming. Needless to say, we packed in the whole hiking idea and finished up the day at the beach. The kids had a blast and Jon and I loved being able to "relax" for just a minute! Yes, there was even wildlife at the beach. These geese and their babies all of a sudden marched right onto the beach, in the middle of crowds, and went right into the water with everyone! It was hilarous. They acted as if they were just out for a day at the beach like everyone else as people on the beach and in the water stood by slack jawed. Of course, it didn't take long for the geese to become more than any kid could handle, and there were kids trying to "catch" them. They geese swam around for a minute, left the water, then proceeded to sun themselves on the beach for awhile. I got some great shots. Candy had a bit of a mexican stand off with the "head" of the pack when she tried to take some pictures and feed them! All in all, despite the kids pyromania at the camp fire and my boys melt down over cheesy poofs (another story, for another day, jsut know that standing between Bradyn and a 5 lb container of cheesy poofs is like holding a bleeding fish out in front of a shark and telling him he can't have it ... madness did ensue) it was a great trip.

COUSINS GALORE!

COUSINS .... COUSINS ... COUSINS ... COUSINS!!

On the West Coast ...

Our NEWEST Cousin ... Noah Jefferson Thompson

Grandma and Grandpa Fish, Riley, Noah, & Tyler

On the East Coast ...

"Rapper" Cousin Erin. She straight trippin' it old school

wiht her pink headband!

Drew, Erin, Sara (aka DIVA) & Bradyn

We have more cousins ... but NO PICTURES AUNT KATI!

Hint, Hint!!

4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Every year our friends, the St. Onge's, have a 4th July party for family ... we are lucky enough to be considered family (or they just feel really bad for us ... hahah!) and we get an invite every year!

Saturday July 7, 2007

"So Tyler, since we aren't allowed in the pool, how much sugar does YOUR mom have at YOUR house?" asks Bradyn (right). "Hmm, I dunno, but we should check it out!" smirks Tyler. "Awesome ...awesome," Bradyn says, reminiscing of the latest sugar caper three days ago.

Drew 'n' Griff ... divemasters of the murky depths .. in matching trunks! (No, this was NOT planned!)

Drew has NO

fear of the water!

Tyler and Bradyn practicing a "cheer" pyramid with Tyler's cousins! GOOOOO team!

Hmmmm, future cheerleaders?! LOL!

Jon shows

NO MERCY ...

demonstrating his

brute strength,

determination,

and competitive edge

on the

bean bag toss field.

GOOOO Jonny!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar, Doritos, and the Mind of Boys ...

This is our youngest, Bradyn (right). Notice the "message of warning" for all to see? Yes, it does read, "here comes TROUBLE!". Next to him, looking confused and perhaps a little worried is his, "bestest friend always" (according to Bradyn ... AND when he and Tyler are not fighting over who is older, taller, bigger, or smarter), Tyler. He and his brother Griffin are about the same age as Drew and Bradyn and the four of them are inseparable. At our house the boys have a "hut". It is a renovated 2nd floor "storage closet" that is deep and wide. It is the perfect "hut" for kids. We installed carpet, put in a mini couch, Drew installed some Red Sox and Patriots paraphernalia to the walls, and wa-la ... hut. The hut gets vacuumed once a week in an effort to thwart any well meaning rodents or bugs that may have found any food remnants snuck into the "hut". So far, so good, only some minor kid dirt. Until Friday.

I was taught well in the ways of "food storage". I have two LARGE containers for sugar and flour in my pantry. The flour container holds about 12 lbs and the sugar about 7lbs. Yep, they're huge and it IS important to the story that you know of them. Our 4th of July was pretty casual. We had Mike and Candy and Tyler come over to hang for some dinner and sparklers (Griffin was in Maine with Grandparents). As the evening wore on, the adults found themselves on the back patio chatting away. The boys were playing so nice, so quiet ... we were falsely lulled into a sense of security.

Fast forward to Friday (2 days later), hut cleaning day. Drew went inside the hut to clear it out for the vacuum cleaner. Once inside I heard this, "MOM!!!!" Drew emerged from the hut with my 7lb sugar container (that I had recently filled to the brim), with almost half of the sugar "missing". Drew then exclaimed, "Tyler and Bradyn did it!" "Did what?", I asked, knowing it was bad. I peered into the hut to see not one, or two, or even three, but about 6 PILES of sugar on the carpet. As I investigated further, I found that the devastation was not only in the carpet, it was also on the sleeping bags, throw pillows, and seemingly "ground in" to some places on the little sofa. As I was throwing things from the hut out to the open to discover the level of this sugarific disaster I realized EVERYTHING was covered and EVERYTHING had to be cleaned or we would have a REAL bug infestation.

After assessing the damage, I calmly (yes, I actually was calm, I think it is the place you reach as a mom when you are so mad you can't even manage to have ANY emotion, you just lost all affect and go "blank") called Bradyn. The rest of this story is via a 4 and 5 year-olds recollection of events, so bear with me if the details seem sketchy. It would seem that on the evening of the fourth (yes, 2 days prior), Tyler and Bradyn were jonesing for some sugar ... and not the kind that is accompanied by all of the "in the way" stuff as in cookies and candy, they needed a straight shot to the system. Their need for speed left only one option. They managed to sneak the large sugar container up the stairs and into the hut for their "feast". They opened the sugar container and enjoyed handfuls, yes, I said handfuls, of the sweet, delicious white drug. When they had finally settled into a sugar coma of sorts, one of them (or both) "spilled" (um, looked to me like DUMPED) the sugar in the hut. Bradyn broke free from his coma for a moment of, "holy crap, my mom is going to kill me so we better put the sugar BACK into the container". However, he apparently lulled back into the coma when after discussing this clean up option with Tyler, followed Tyler's sage wisdom. "No, we'll get in trouble! Let's HIDE IT!" So, how do you hide 3 lbs of sugar? Well, first you try to grind it into the carpet. When the piles still remain, madness (or the sugar coma) kicks in and you throw anything you can find ONTO the piles. Then you jump on what you threw onto the sugar piles to make sure it is all covered (oh, and also leaves a nice dark place for bugs to discover their private sugar shame and take up residence!) up so Mom can't find it. Of course, after you have THAT much sugar ... you need something salty, right?
After an hour plus of cussing and cleaning the "hut", I took my cleaning efforts to the guest room for a quick vacuuming. Behind the angled headboard of the guest bed (where there is a little "nook" if you will), I spied something orange. Upon further investigation, I realized that salty follows sugary. The boys public shame stood before me ... a large EMPTY bag of family size Doritos (extra cheesy, of course), 1 half filled breakfast bowl of Doritos, and one glass half filled with Doritos. The rest were on the carpet and looked like they had experienced the most painful Dorito death ... smashing by to sugar coma induced preschoolers with bare footed Fred Flintstone shaped feet. Okay, so hour 2 passes by, the Doritos are cleaned up, I still have to steam clean the carpet of the "orange twinge".

For the two hours I was cleaning, I was planning ... planning a punishment so bad, so creative, that NEITHER boy would forget it. I had alot of time to think. After all was cleaned, I called my friend and told her about our boys "adventures". She was mortified, embarrassed, and also mad as hell. I informed her my "plan" was to have the little juvenile delinquents do some weeding in the yard for an hour. Sort of the you took my time today, now I take yours while you do something I needed to get done logic. My friend agreed my plan was evil and perfect. In the interim of she and her husband questioning their juvenile delinquent about his escapades with his fellow juvenile delinquent best friend, I found out that Drew DID know about the Doritos and chose to say NOTHING for 2 days. When Tyler and his Mom arrived, I informed Drew that since he KNEW, said NOTHING, he would now be supervising the weeding adventures and if it wasn't done right, he would be finishing the job!

Yeah, that was like leaving the craziest inmate in charge of the asylum at the prison. The short version is that I spent about 30 minutes out there hollering to get the boys moving and Drew motivated to stop tattling on them. After my 4th trip outside to "regulate", I informed Drew he had to "take care of it". I went inside, and approximately 30 seconds later I hear a blood curdling scream from one of the small boys. I ran outside to see both boys soaked, and Drew holding the garden hose. I looked at him and he matter of factly stated, "I told them if they didn't work, they'd get sprayed, they didn't work, they got sprayed." At this point, the small boys figured this was a great new game (who can tell the mind of a criminal?) and the started running all over the backyard DARING Drew to hose them again. The madness, it never ends.

I called them all inside, set their butts in various corners of the house, told them to stare at the walls, and say NOTHING. They sat for about 10 minutes, then Tyler went home. However, I don't feel to horrible that my masterminded punishment was a bust ... the next day at the neighbors (Tyler's parents) annual pool party, the two small boys were NOT allowed to swim and had to tell people, when asked, WHY they were banned from the pool for the day. Lucky little critters, it rained for most of the party! More later... it is only a question of "when" with these two, never "if". Yes, I am laughing now, but I think it is because insanity has kicked in.

Drew and Griff ... Mariners 2007

This is Drew (right) and his buddy Griff.

Opening Day Franklin Little League Baseball Season 2007.

Annual 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Annual 4th July Party with St. Onge Family ... 2007
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments

Bet you didn't know frozen Hawaiian punch is combustible and will stain your dogs tail and your kid AND his raggedy onlooking friends. Click below for details ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

Cheesy poofs tantrums, dive bombing black flies, threats of divorce, and porta potties. Sounds like camping FUN to me ... click on to read more ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007