And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Wanted: One criminal defense attorney for 2 boys charged with aiding and imbedding and war crimes... oh yeah, read on. Click below.
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Hawaiian Punch Experiments

I have decided that being a mom to boys carries with it a requirement that one possess a sense of humor. If one was not in possession of said sense of humor, they would spend their parenting of boys precious time seeking professional help for either themselves OR their boys ... convinced that either you or the boys are NUTS. Today, was one of those nuts days. There are occasions that the plans my boys come up with are well thought out ... well, not so well thought out as taking days of planning before they sometimes literally blow up. A few days ago such a plan, unbeknownst to me, was being launched. Drew and Bradyn took a GIANT Sam's club size container of Hawaiian punch and stuck it in the outside freezer. I suppose it had been there for a couple of days, not sure. A few days into the "freezing" the boys were plaing outside. I assumed they were riding their bikes, playing in the sandpile, you know, boy things. I was sitting in hte front room talking with a friend that had stopped in for a visit. Out of hte corner of my eye I suddenly noticed Drew and one of his buddies from the neighborhood running upstairs ... somehting was up. I watched as they came running back down the stairs with something in their hands. I ordered, "gentleman, STOP, turn around, WHAT is in your hands?" The two partners in crime were already at the garage door and Drew threw soemthing in the garage, showed me his hands, and said, "nothing!" Uh-huh. I grilled the two of them for about two minutes, then looked outside the garage door to see what Drew had "dropped". There was nothing on the ground so I grilled Drew again saying, "WHAT was it and WHERE is it?!" Drew hollered, "okay, okay, Bradyn took it!" What? Took what? "The tape!" yelled Drew and his friend in tandem. What the heck? Tape? For what? I didn't need to ask anymore as I looked out onto the driveway to see Brdyn trying deperately to "clean up" the mess that was made. Apparerntly after the"freezing" of the Hawaiian punch, the boys decided that it was obviusly time to beat it with a hammer to see what happens. It made a small hole in the side of hte punch, which under the frozen pressure, started to "spew" Hawaiian Punch. The tape? Well, that was to clean it up. There sat Bradyn, getting spewed at from all sides by red Hawaiin punch as he tried desperately to "tape" the container. He was red, sticky, and covered. Needless to say,friends, "went home" and the boys were put on clean up duty and lockdown. When I asked WHAT had happened they very matter of factly told me, "what? we froze it and hit it with a hammer?" like I was an idiot for asking. Uh-huh. Please, please, let this next child be a girl with more than one working brain cell.

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Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Brothers in CRIME
I have two boys, ages 5 and 10. One would think that their obvious age gap would leave them to pretty much ignore one another. However, as their ages have increased, so to has their utter disgust with one another from one moment to the next. Their antics don't often involve any other individuals (sometimes the poor dog is left in the crossfire), thank goodness. For the most part, their turf disputes leave them both mortified that I cannot see justification for their criminal acts. Let's take one situation in particular, to describe the 4 justifications for criminal defenses.
Drew (age 10) and Bradyn (age 5) are playing outside. Their latest antics involve the catching of frogs in the woods behind the house. There is never just one frog, there is often more than one, cramped inside their little bucket like POW's waiting for the end that won't come soon enough. The boys "love" the frogs all day, until I force them to release the frogs back to the wild after dinner. The frogs currently suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and are seeking therapeutic interventions as we speak. On one such day, Bradyn (the 5 year-old) assumed that frogs liked two things ... being held over the bucket by one leg and then being released back into the wild as he screamed and chased them and brought them back to the bucket. Drew (the 10 year-old) is a bit more realistic, and realized holding them by one leg would decrease their jumping ability, and chasing them after releasing them repeatedly just didn't make sense ... what if Bradyn didn't catch them and put them back (run frogs, run). On one such day, Bradyn first grabbed said frog and held it dangling, by one leg, over the bucket. Drew smacked Bradyn in the back of the head and the frog was "released" as Bradyn went to retaliate. As his little 5 year-old fists of fury started to fly, Drew realized the frog was jumping away and he retaliated in kind again expressing physical violence towards his younger brother.
By the time the little delinquents brought their case to the judge, (myself) both were crying and screaming incoherently and their defense now fell under the jurisdiction of the courts (their bedroom and their mom, arms crossed, wondering why I am pregnant with a third and didn't just stop at one child). First, the eldest claimed DURESS. The frog, apparently, through means of ESP only known to my children, informed the eldest that unless he smacked his younger brother for holding him above the bucket by the leg, then he would just hop away into the sunset. Therefore, under amphibian DURESS, the eldest wacked his brother in the head so the frog would not hop away. Second, the youngest claimed SELF-DEFENSE in retaliation to his brother's aforementioned smack to the head. He claimed his use of "non deadly force" was reasonable in that he did not provoke his elder brother's attack. He also mentioned that perhaps he would be using "deadly force" if his brother wacked him in the head again without notice. Third, the eldest then claimed NECESSITY in again wacking his brother in the head a second time because the frog was released in the first head wacking attack. Of course, the harm and evil sought to be avoided (the frog remaining in the bucket) was no longer a possibility as the initial wack to the head released the frog from the startled younger brother who then came after his elder brother threatening with non-deadly force possibly escalating to deadly force! The law of the house states, "don't touch each other!" but in this case, the NECESSITY outweighed the law ... apparently. The judge wasn't hearing any of it, so both criminals put their heads together to claim a final defense, ENTRAPMENT. The eldest claimed that had I stopped with having one child then he could have all of the frogs to himself and he would not feel inclined to resort to violent action to protect the rights of the amphibian creatures of the world. The youngest claimed that had the judge (mom, myself) just let him play with frogs by himself, like he had been doing all day while the other criminal was in school, then he would not have gotten wacked in the head forcing him to exhibit non-deadly and threatening deadly force. DURESS, SELF-DEFENSE, NECESSITY, ENTRAPMENT. No matter how you look at it, the judge threw the book at both of them (augh!) and they spent the evening in a juvenile delinquency facility (their bedroom) waiting for the warden (Dad) to release them from their cells. Both are expected to do "hard time" before their 18th birthday ... at which point the judge will release them into the wilds of society. Good luck to you all. “

Patuckaway State Park, NH 2007

Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

CAMPING AT PATUCKAWAY STATE PARK ...

Early in the Summer, we went camping with friends to Patackuway State Park. It was absolutely GORGEOUS there. Our campsite was literally at the edge of our own little private beach. There were a family of ducks (and by the end of our time there, I am fairly certain they had invited friends) who were OBVIOUSLY domesticated. They walked right into our campsite, the mother and babies, and we of course obliged and the kids managed to feed them AT LEAST 2 boxes of fishy crackers, and graham crackers. The second day we were there, I was up earlier than anyone else and started to make breakfast. In a moment, there were the ducks, ready for breakfast. Since I was the only one in sight, they actually ate right out of my hand and we chatted about the morning. Yes, not only did I camp, I talked to the wildlife. We attempted to go on a hike, but apparently hiking through a "marshland" in muggy weather is not the best idea. I think the blackflies and mosquitos had not seen human flesh in that part of the woods all year! THe further into the hike we got, the more we noticed the bugs seemed to be getting more "aggressive". Jon swears they were organizing troops and executing advanced "dive bombing" missions. Our friends, Candy and her son Tyler, went ahead of the group to scout out the situation to see if we should even go on. After a few minutes, we suddenly see Candy and Tyler running and flailing their arms coming at us screaming, "RUN!!!" with a cloud of dive bombing bugs in their wake! I WISH I had captured that picture. Apparently, further up the trail, and the fact that Candy and Tyler had not taken any reinforcements, the black flies and mosquitos organized a posse to take them out. They were helpless to the bugs masterplanned attack, and Candy grabbed Tyler, attached him firmly to her side, and started to RUN back to the rest of us. She finally dropped Tyler, and started flailing her arms to warn the rest of us. We all started running back out of the woods screaming. Needless to say, we packed in the whole hiking idea and finished up the day at the beach. The kids had a blast and Jon and I loved being able to "relax" for just a minute! Yes, there was even wildlife at the beach. These geese and their babies all of a sudden marched right onto the beach, in the middle of crowds, and went right into the water with everyone! It was hilarous. They acted as if they were just out for a day at the beach like everyone else as people on the beach and in the water stood by slack jawed. Of course, it didn't take long for the geese to become more than any kid could handle, and there were kids trying to "catch" them. They geese swam around for a minute, left the water, then proceeded to sun themselves on the beach for awhile. I got some great shots. Candy had a bit of a mexican stand off with the "head" of the pack when she tried to take some pictures and feed them! All in all, despite the kids pyromania at the camp fire and my boys melt down over cheesy poofs (another story, for another day, jsut know that standing between Bradyn and a 5 lb container of cheesy poofs is like holding a bleeding fish out in front of a shark and telling him he can't have it ... madness did ensue) it was a great trip.

COUSINS GALORE!

COUSINS .... COUSINS ... COUSINS ... COUSINS!!

On the West Coast ...

Our NEWEST Cousin ... Noah Jefferson Thompson

Grandma and Grandpa Fish, Riley, Noah, & Tyler

On the East Coast ...

"Rapper" Cousin Erin. She straight trippin' it old school

wiht her pink headband!

Drew, Erin, Sara (aka DIVA) & Bradyn

We have more cousins ... but NO PICTURES AUNT KATI!

Hint, Hint!!

4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Every year our friends, the St. Onge's, have a 4th July party for family ... we are lucky enough to be considered family (or they just feel really bad for us ... hahah!) and we get an invite every year!

Saturday July 7, 2007

"So Tyler, since we aren't allowed in the pool, how much sugar does YOUR mom have at YOUR house?" asks Bradyn (right). "Hmm, I dunno, but we should check it out!" smirks Tyler. "Awesome ...awesome," Bradyn says, reminiscing of the latest sugar caper three days ago.

Drew 'n' Griff ... divemasters of the murky depths .. in matching trunks! (No, this was NOT planned!)

Drew has NO

fear of the water!

Tyler and Bradyn practicing a "cheer" pyramid with Tyler's cousins! GOOOOO team!

Hmmmm, future cheerleaders?! LOL!

Jon shows

NO MERCY ...

demonstrating his

brute strength,

determination,

and competitive edge

on the

bean bag toss field.

GOOOO Jonny!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar, Doritos, and the Mind of Boys ...

This is our youngest, Bradyn (right). Notice the "message of warning" for all to see? Yes, it does read, "here comes TROUBLE!". Next to him, looking confused and perhaps a little worried is his, "bestest friend always" (according to Bradyn ... AND when he and Tyler are not fighting over who is older, taller, bigger, or smarter), Tyler. He and his brother Griffin are about the same age as Drew and Bradyn and the four of them are inseparable. At our house the boys have a "hut". It is a renovated 2nd floor "storage closet" that is deep and wide. It is the perfect "hut" for kids. We installed carpet, put in a mini couch, Drew installed some Red Sox and Patriots paraphernalia to the walls, and wa-la ... hut. The hut gets vacuumed once a week in an effort to thwart any well meaning rodents or bugs that may have found any food remnants snuck into the "hut". So far, so good, only some minor kid dirt. Until Friday.

I was taught well in the ways of "food storage". I have two LARGE containers for sugar and flour in my pantry. The flour container holds about 12 lbs and the sugar about 7lbs. Yep, they're huge and it IS important to the story that you know of them. Our 4th of July was pretty casual. We had Mike and Candy and Tyler come over to hang for some dinner and sparklers (Griffin was in Maine with Grandparents). As the evening wore on, the adults found themselves on the back patio chatting away. The boys were playing so nice, so quiet ... we were falsely lulled into a sense of security.

Fast forward to Friday (2 days later), hut cleaning day. Drew went inside the hut to clear it out for the vacuum cleaner. Once inside I heard this, "MOM!!!!" Drew emerged from the hut with my 7lb sugar container (that I had recently filled to the brim), with almost half of the sugar "missing". Drew then exclaimed, "Tyler and Bradyn did it!" "Did what?", I asked, knowing it was bad. I peered into the hut to see not one, or two, or even three, but about 6 PILES of sugar on the carpet. As I investigated further, I found that the devastation was not only in the carpet, it was also on the sleeping bags, throw pillows, and seemingly "ground in" to some places on the little sofa. As I was throwing things from the hut out to the open to discover the level of this sugarific disaster I realized EVERYTHING was covered and EVERYTHING had to be cleaned or we would have a REAL bug infestation.

After assessing the damage, I calmly (yes, I actually was calm, I think it is the place you reach as a mom when you are so mad you can't even manage to have ANY emotion, you just lost all affect and go "blank") called Bradyn. The rest of this story is via a 4 and 5 year-olds recollection of events, so bear with me if the details seem sketchy. It would seem that on the evening of the fourth (yes, 2 days prior), Tyler and Bradyn were jonesing for some sugar ... and not the kind that is accompanied by all of the "in the way" stuff as in cookies and candy, they needed a straight shot to the system. Their need for speed left only one option. They managed to sneak the large sugar container up the stairs and into the hut for their "feast". They opened the sugar container and enjoyed handfuls, yes, I said handfuls, of the sweet, delicious white drug. When they had finally settled into a sugar coma of sorts, one of them (or both) "spilled" (um, looked to me like DUMPED) the sugar in the hut. Bradyn broke free from his coma for a moment of, "holy crap, my mom is going to kill me so we better put the sugar BACK into the container". However, he apparently lulled back into the coma when after discussing this clean up option with Tyler, followed Tyler's sage wisdom. "No, we'll get in trouble! Let's HIDE IT!" So, how do you hide 3 lbs of sugar? Well, first you try to grind it into the carpet. When the piles still remain, madness (or the sugar coma) kicks in and you throw anything you can find ONTO the piles. Then you jump on what you threw onto the sugar piles to make sure it is all covered (oh, and also leaves a nice dark place for bugs to discover their private sugar shame and take up residence!) up so Mom can't find it. Of course, after you have THAT much sugar ... you need something salty, right?
After an hour plus of cussing and cleaning the "hut", I took my cleaning efforts to the guest room for a quick vacuuming. Behind the angled headboard of the guest bed (where there is a little "nook" if you will), I spied something orange. Upon further investigation, I realized that salty follows sugary. The boys public shame stood before me ... a large EMPTY bag of family size Doritos (extra cheesy, of course), 1 half filled breakfast bowl of Doritos, and one glass half filled with Doritos. The rest were on the carpet and looked like they had experienced the most painful Dorito death ... smashing by to sugar coma induced preschoolers with bare footed Fred Flintstone shaped feet. Okay, so hour 2 passes by, the Doritos are cleaned up, I still have to steam clean the carpet of the "orange twinge".

For the two hours I was cleaning, I was planning ... planning a punishment so bad, so creative, that NEITHER boy would forget it. I had alot of time to think. After all was cleaned, I called my friend and told her about our boys "adventures". She was mortified, embarrassed, and also mad as hell. I informed her my "plan" was to have the little juvenile delinquents do some weeding in the yard for an hour. Sort of the you took my time today, now I take yours while you do something I needed to get done logic. My friend agreed my plan was evil and perfect. In the interim of she and her husband questioning their juvenile delinquent about his escapades with his fellow juvenile delinquent best friend, I found out that Drew DID know about the Doritos and chose to say NOTHING for 2 days. When Tyler and his Mom arrived, I informed Drew that since he KNEW, said NOTHING, he would now be supervising the weeding adventures and if it wasn't done right, he would be finishing the job!

Yeah, that was like leaving the craziest inmate in charge of the asylum at the prison. The short version is that I spent about 30 minutes out there hollering to get the boys moving and Drew motivated to stop tattling on them. After my 4th trip outside to "regulate", I informed Drew he had to "take care of it". I went inside, and approximately 30 seconds later I hear a blood curdling scream from one of the small boys. I ran outside to see both boys soaked, and Drew holding the garden hose. I looked at him and he matter of factly stated, "I told them if they didn't work, they'd get sprayed, they didn't work, they got sprayed." At this point, the small boys figured this was a great new game (who can tell the mind of a criminal?) and the started running all over the backyard DARING Drew to hose them again. The madness, it never ends.

I called them all inside, set their butts in various corners of the house, told them to stare at the walls, and say NOTHING. They sat for about 10 minutes, then Tyler went home. However, I don't feel to horrible that my masterminded punishment was a bust ... the next day at the neighbors (Tyler's parents) annual pool party, the two small boys were NOT allowed to swim and had to tell people, when asked, WHY they were banned from the pool for the day. Lucky little critters, it rained for most of the party! More later... it is only a question of "when" with these two, never "if". Yes, I am laughing now, but I think it is because insanity has kicked in.

Drew and Griff ... Mariners 2007

This is Drew (right) and his buddy Griff.

Opening Day Franklin Little League Baseball Season 2007.

Annual 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Annual 4th July Party with St. Onge Family ... 2007
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments

Bet you didn't know frozen Hawaiian punch is combustible and will stain your dogs tail and your kid AND his raggedy onlooking friends. Click below for details ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments