Las Vegas to New Hampshire to WHAT?!?!

Dear Family and Friends,

If you have made it to our blog site, congratulations! You are now seeing the first Eldridge family Christmas letter to make it out in two years! This also means that you are the proud bearer of a Christmas card from us, also not having made it out in the last two years! We’ve been a little busy to say the least! I know it has been an anxious couple of years for all of you, not getting this annual gem of a letter, so I will try to make this worth the read.

The Eldridge’s waved goodbye to the Air Force and sunny Las Vegas approximately 2 years ago. We packed the kids and the dog into the Expedition and started our cross-country trek to New Hampshire. The dog, Caesar, is still suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder from 5 days in the car with his brothers, but the kids and I managed to maintain minimal sanity with multiple DVD’s.

Drew … oh Drew. Drew is 10 years old now …, which still makes me 21 years old. I know, amazing. Drew has rolled with the punches like any good former military brat and endured the moves, the new homes, and new schools with the best of them. We took a sigh of relief noting that this year, 4th grade for Drew, is the first time he will attend a school 2 years in a row! Drew has hit the ground running in his new school. He was voted to be both the 3rd and 4th grade President! His political ambitions seem endless, and I spend a lot of time making “campaign bribes” ordered from Oriental Trading Company every fall to hand out to his constituents. Drew loves school, his teachers, and even gym class! This year he started playing the “recorder” in the 4th grade “band”. He and his fellow “recorder” players are mastering only the hits … Hot Cross Buns. When he is not rendering the family speechless with hours of entertainment on the recorder, Drew has been involved in Baseball, Karate, Kung-Fu, swimming, camping, frog hunting, neighborhood domination, and anything computer.

Bradyn turned five this year. He has adjusted well to his new Yankee status and has even added words like, “wicked” to his vocabulary and deleted letters like “r”. I am concerned about his regional dialect, but figure he sounds like his Yankee children counterparts, so we will let it go for now. Bradyn, unlike his “academically inclined” older sibling, would rather play with friends 24 hours a day, ride his bike, or throw around any sort of ball. Our little social butterfly also participated in Karate, Kung Fu, swimming, camping, and soccer. He loved ALL of them and can’t wait for baseball little league in the spring. He is finally old enough! Bradyn spends his days at home with Mom these days waiting for kindergarten next year. He has discovered the X-Box and vying for position with his older brother. He has proven what we always warned Drew about … be nice to Bradyn, he will be bigger than you one day. Enough said. Despite his antics, Bradyn keeps us laughing with his endearing little grin, and spit and vinegar personality.

In September 2005, Jon started his new career with Jones Lang LaSalle at Fidelity Investments as a Project Manager. Did you understand that mouthful? Within 6 months, Jon was promoted to a facilities manager. A month later, he graduated from school (GOOOO Jon!) with his Bachelor’s Degree. Jon didn’t want to break the education rhythm, so he headed straight into his Executive Masters Degree program, which he will finish this summer. Jon was recruited to Aramark Corporation early this summer doing his same career. He took the job … for three months, and was “re-recruited” by Jones Lang La Salle to manage another client, Motorola. Translation of “re-recruited” – come back and we will pay you more. Jon is officially back with Jones Lang LaSalle, working with his new client, Motorola. He LOVES his job, his new “Q” phone, and that is all that matters!

In his spare time, ha-ha, Jon has coached a 12-year-old “majors” baseball team in our little town, served on the baseball little league board, and is now the church stake physical activities director. Oh, did I mention he also plays indoor soccer, hunts, fishes, camps, goes to Red Sox and Patriots games, and is generally is loving being back in “New England” so he can watch New England sports all the time … whenever he wants!

As for me, I am adjusting to the Yankee way of life. I can’t find good grits here, but I have found I am becoming quite the Maple syrup connoisseur. Until recently, I have been teaching aerobics and doing some personal training. I LOVED teaching and training, but my body, and more importantly my poor hips, gave out on me early into my pregnancy. During a class I stepped up, my hips stayed down, and thus ended my fitness career for NOW! I am still carting the kids around, started a book club, volunteering at Drew’s school, have almost finished MY school, (2 classes left, yes, both math, I may never graduate), gardening, crafting, camping & hiking, (yes, I camp and hike now, heaven help us all)etc. etc. My neighborhood has dubbed me “Bree Van decamp” (from desperate housewives fame) because I apparently am a little “obsessed” with my domestic details. Overall, I am staying busy and contented.

If you haven’t heard yet, (yeah right!) Jon and I are expecting our third in March. This was a “surprise” for both of us, but one we are finding to be a grateful gift. Caden George Eldridge (yes, ANOTHER boy), is due to make his arrival sometime in early March. So far, Caden stays busy kicking me incessantly, resting on whatever nerve is most uncomfortable for his mother, “teasing” his brothers with kicks in response to their talking, and gaining weight steadily. Jon and I are both still a little in shock, but ready or not, we are welcoming a third.

Jon and I look back on the last couple of years and remain amazed at the blessings Heavenly Father has given our family. We are happy, healthy, have amazing friends and family, and are enjoying our new adventures daily. If you are ever in New England, we have a lovely “guest suite” complete with a 6 a.m. wake up call from Bradyn (after all, Captain Social is the entertainment committee here at the house, and activities begin EARLY!). However, I can promise some warm maple syrup with your early breakfast! We love and miss all of you.

Here’s wishing all of you best wishes for the
Holidays and upcoming New Year!

Love,
The Eldridges Jon, Cortney, Bradyn, Drew, Bradyn, Caden,
and Caesar (woof!)

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Where Do Babies Come From?

Bradyn discusses the finer details of conception ... click below to read on!
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Where Do Babies Come From?

I LICKED IT ...

Bradyn ... a few months ago we took Bradyn to a party somewhere. Where, I don't recall, but what I do recall is him utilizing one of his MANY tricks to "get what he wants". Now, Bradyn's love affair with food is well documented, but even fat kids across the world would be proud at this latest antic. While going through the "buffet line" of sorts, Bradyn was pointing out what he wanted, etc. At the end of the table were WAY TO MANY assorted desserts and I told Bradyn he could have ONE. This was obviously NOT ENOUGH in his eyes. He did manage to choose one, but as I went to pick it up and put it on his plate I noticed his grubby little hand picking up another dessert, bring it to his mouth, and lick it. Yep, grabbed the cookie, licked it, and put it back on the plate for someone else to enjoy. I immediately informed him he could NOT do that and now he had to have that cookie. Okay, fast forward 2 months later.

A few days ago Bradyn was in the grocery store with me. He and his brother were running around grabbing things for me (it is the only method I have to keep them busy, send them on "missions" for produce). In their travels between oranges and lettuce Bradyn found a shelf of magazines. One caught his eye (Nickelodeon or something)and he brought it to me. He asked if he could have it and I of course said, "no". He then said, "but mom, I already licked it." He was very serious and it was all I could do to not puke at the fact he was licking a magazine 40 thousand other grubby hands had probab;y parused and simultaneously laugh. He didn't get the magazine. Had to prove a point.

Bradyn Logic # 234: If you want something really, really bad and you don't see any other way to get it ... lick it, then it's yours.

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Wanted: One criminal defense attorney for 2 boys charged with aiding and imbedding and war crimes... oh yeah, read on. Click below.
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Hawaiian Punch Experiments

I have decided that being a mom to boys carries with it a requirement that one possess a sense of humor. If one was not in possession of said sense of humor, they would spend their parenting of boys precious time seeking professional help for either themselves OR their boys ... convinced that either you or the boys are NUTS. Today, was one of those nuts days. There are occasions that the plans my boys come up with are well thought out ... well, not so well thought out as taking days of planning before they sometimes literally blow up. A few days ago such a plan, unbeknownst to me, was being launched. Drew and Bradyn took a GIANT Sam's club size container of Hawaiian punch and stuck it in the outside freezer. I suppose it had been there for a couple of days, not sure. A few days into the "freezing" the boys were plaing outside. I assumed they were riding their bikes, playing in the sandpile, you know, boy things. I was sitting in hte front room talking with a friend that had stopped in for a visit. Out of hte corner of my eye I suddenly noticed Drew and one of his buddies from the neighborhood running upstairs ... somehting was up. I watched as they came running back down the stairs with something in their hands. I ordered, "gentleman, STOP, turn around, WHAT is in your hands?" The two partners in crime were already at the garage door and Drew threw soemthing in the garage, showed me his hands, and said, "nothing!" Uh-huh. I grilled the two of them for about two minutes, then looked outside the garage door to see what Drew had "dropped". There was nothing on the ground so I grilled Drew again saying, "WHAT was it and WHERE is it?!" Drew hollered, "okay, okay, Bradyn took it!" What? Took what? "The tape!" yelled Drew and his friend in tandem. What the heck? Tape? For what? I didn't need to ask anymore as I looked out onto the driveway to see Brdyn trying deperately to "clean up" the mess that was made. Apparerntly after the"freezing" of the Hawaiian punch, the boys decided that it was obviusly time to beat it with a hammer to see what happens. It made a small hole in the side of hte punch, which under the frozen pressure, started to "spew" Hawaiian Punch. The tape? Well, that was to clean it up. There sat Bradyn, getting spewed at from all sides by red Hawaiin punch as he tried desperately to "tape" the container. He was red, sticky, and covered. Needless to say,friends, "went home" and the boys were put on clean up duty and lockdown. When I asked WHAT had happened they very matter of factly told me, "what? we froze it and hit it with a hammer?" like I was an idiot for asking. Uh-huh. Please, please, let this next child be a girl with more than one working brain cell.

ANNOUNCEMENT ...

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

JONS BIRTHDAY CARD

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Boys, Frogs with Anxiety, and Criminal Defense

Brothers in CRIME
I have two boys, ages 5 and 10. One would think that their obvious age gap would leave them to pretty much ignore one another. However, as their ages have increased, so to has their utter disgust with one another from one moment to the next. Their antics don't often involve any other individuals (sometimes the poor dog is left in the crossfire), thank goodness. For the most part, their turf disputes leave them both mortified that I cannot see justification for their criminal acts. Let's take one situation in particular, to describe the 4 justifications for criminal defenses.
Drew (age 10) and Bradyn (age 5) are playing outside. Their latest antics involve the catching of frogs in the woods behind the house. There is never just one frog, there is often more than one, cramped inside their little bucket like POW's waiting for the end that won't come soon enough. The boys "love" the frogs all day, until I force them to release the frogs back to the wild after dinner. The frogs currently suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and are seeking therapeutic interventions as we speak. On one such day, Bradyn (the 5 year-old) assumed that frogs liked two things ... being held over the bucket by one leg and then being released back into the wild as he screamed and chased them and brought them back to the bucket. Drew (the 10 year-old) is a bit more realistic, and realized holding them by one leg would decrease their jumping ability, and chasing them after releasing them repeatedly just didn't make sense ... what if Bradyn didn't catch them and put them back (run frogs, run). On one such day, Bradyn first grabbed said frog and held it dangling, by one leg, over the bucket. Drew smacked Bradyn in the back of the head and the frog was "released" as Bradyn went to retaliate. As his little 5 year-old fists of fury started to fly, Drew realized the frog was jumping away and he retaliated in kind again expressing physical violence towards his younger brother.
By the time the little delinquents brought their case to the judge, (myself) both were crying and screaming incoherently and their defense now fell under the jurisdiction of the courts (their bedroom and their mom, arms crossed, wondering why I am pregnant with a third and didn't just stop at one child). First, the eldest claimed DURESS. The frog, apparently, through means of ESP only known to my children, informed the eldest that unless he smacked his younger brother for holding him above the bucket by the leg, then he would just hop away into the sunset. Therefore, under amphibian DURESS, the eldest wacked his brother in the head so the frog would not hop away. Second, the youngest claimed SELF-DEFENSE in retaliation to his brother's aforementioned smack to the head. He claimed his use of "non deadly force" was reasonable in that he did not provoke his elder brother's attack. He also mentioned that perhaps he would be using "deadly force" if his brother wacked him in the head again without notice. Third, the eldest then claimed NECESSITY in again wacking his brother in the head a second time because the frog was released in the first head wacking attack. Of course, the harm and evil sought to be avoided (the frog remaining in the bucket) was no longer a possibility as the initial wack to the head released the frog from the startled younger brother who then came after his elder brother threatening with non-deadly force possibly escalating to deadly force! The law of the house states, "don't touch each other!" but in this case, the NECESSITY outweighed the law ... apparently. The judge wasn't hearing any of it, so both criminals put their heads together to claim a final defense, ENTRAPMENT. The eldest claimed that had I stopped with having one child then he could have all of the frogs to himself and he would not feel inclined to resort to violent action to protect the rights of the amphibian creatures of the world. The youngest claimed that had the judge (mom, myself) just let him play with frogs by himself, like he had been doing all day while the other criminal was in school, then he would not have gotten wacked in the head forcing him to exhibit non-deadly and threatening deadly force. DURESS, SELF-DEFENSE, NECESSITY, ENTRAPMENT. No matter how you look at it, the judge threw the book at both of them (augh!) and they spent the evening in a juvenile delinquency facility (their bedroom) waiting for the warden (Dad) to release them from their cells. Both are expected to do "hard time" before their 18th birthday ... at which point the judge will release them into the wilds of society. Good luck to you all. “

Patuckaway State Park, NH 2007

Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

CAMPING AT PATUCKAWAY STATE PARK ...

Early in the Summer, we went camping with friends to Patackuway State Park. It was absolutely GORGEOUS there. Our campsite was literally at the edge of our own little private beach. There were a family of ducks (and by the end of our time there, I am fairly certain they had invited friends) who were OBVIOUSLY domesticated. They walked right into our campsite, the mother and babies, and we of course obliged and the kids managed to feed them AT LEAST 2 boxes of fishy crackers, and graham crackers. The second day we were there, I was up earlier than anyone else and started to make breakfast. In a moment, there were the ducks, ready for breakfast. Since I was the only one in sight, they actually ate right out of my hand and we chatted about the morning. Yes, not only did I camp, I talked to the wildlife. We attempted to go on a hike, but apparently hiking through a "marshland" in muggy weather is not the best idea. I think the blackflies and mosquitos had not seen human flesh in that part of the woods all year! THe further into the hike we got, the more we noticed the bugs seemed to be getting more "aggressive". Jon swears they were organizing troops and executing advanced "dive bombing" missions. Our friends, Candy and her son Tyler, went ahead of the group to scout out the situation to see if we should even go on. After a few minutes, we suddenly see Candy and Tyler running and flailing their arms coming at us screaming, "RUN!!!" with a cloud of dive bombing bugs in their wake! I WISH I had captured that picture. Apparently, further up the trail, and the fact that Candy and Tyler had not taken any reinforcements, the black flies and mosquitos organized a posse to take them out. They were helpless to the bugs masterplanned attack, and Candy grabbed Tyler, attached him firmly to her side, and started to RUN back to the rest of us. She finally dropped Tyler, and started flailing her arms to warn the rest of us. We all started running back out of the woods screaming. Needless to say, we packed in the whole hiking idea and finished up the day at the beach. The kids had a blast and Jon and I loved being able to "relax" for just a minute! Yes, there was even wildlife at the beach. These geese and their babies all of a sudden marched right onto the beach, in the middle of crowds, and went right into the water with everyone! It was hilarous. They acted as if they were just out for a day at the beach like everyone else as people on the beach and in the water stood by slack jawed. Of course, it didn't take long for the geese to become more than any kid could handle, and there were kids trying to "catch" them. They geese swam around for a minute, left the water, then proceeded to sun themselves on the beach for awhile. I got some great shots. Candy had a bit of a mexican stand off with the "head" of the pack when she tried to take some pictures and feed them! All in all, despite the kids pyromania at the camp fire and my boys melt down over cheesy poofs (another story, for another day, jsut know that standing between Bradyn and a 5 lb container of cheesy poofs is like holding a bleeding fish out in front of a shark and telling him he can't have it ... madness did ensue) it was a great trip.

COUSINS GALORE!

COUSINS .... COUSINS ... COUSINS ... COUSINS!!

On the West Coast ...

Our NEWEST Cousin ... Noah Jefferson Thompson

Grandma and Grandpa Fish, Riley, Noah, & Tyler

On the East Coast ...

"Rapper" Cousin Erin. She straight trippin' it old school

wiht her pink headband!

Drew, Erin, Sara (aka DIVA) & Bradyn

We have more cousins ... but NO PICTURES AUNT KATI!

Hint, Hint!!

4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Every year our friends, the St. Onge's, have a 4th July party for family ... we are lucky enough to be considered family (or they just feel really bad for us ... hahah!) and we get an invite every year!

Saturday July 7, 2007

"So Tyler, since we aren't allowed in the pool, how much sugar does YOUR mom have at YOUR house?" asks Bradyn (right). "Hmm, I dunno, but we should check it out!" smirks Tyler. "Awesome ...awesome," Bradyn says, reminiscing of the latest sugar caper three days ago.

Drew 'n' Griff ... divemasters of the murky depths .. in matching trunks! (No, this was NOT planned!)

Drew has NO

fear of the water!

Tyler and Bradyn practicing a "cheer" pyramid with Tyler's cousins! GOOOOO team!

Hmmmm, future cheerleaders?! LOL!

Jon shows

NO MERCY ...

demonstrating his

brute strength,

determination,

and competitive edge

on the

bean bag toss field.

GOOOO Jonny!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar, Doritos, and the Mind of Boys ...

This is our youngest, Bradyn (right). Notice the "message of warning" for all to see? Yes, it does read, "here comes TROUBLE!". Next to him, looking confused and perhaps a little worried is his, "bestest friend always" (according to Bradyn ... AND when he and Tyler are not fighting over who is older, taller, bigger, or smarter), Tyler. He and his brother Griffin are about the same age as Drew and Bradyn and the four of them are inseparable. At our house the boys have a "hut". It is a renovated 2nd floor "storage closet" that is deep and wide. It is the perfect "hut" for kids. We installed carpet, put in a mini couch, Drew installed some Red Sox and Patriots paraphernalia to the walls, and wa-la ... hut. The hut gets vacuumed once a week in an effort to thwart any well meaning rodents or bugs that may have found any food remnants snuck into the "hut". So far, so good, only some minor kid dirt. Until Friday.

I was taught well in the ways of "food storage". I have two LARGE containers for sugar and flour in my pantry. The flour container holds about 12 lbs and the sugar about 7lbs. Yep, they're huge and it IS important to the story that you know of them. Our 4th of July was pretty casual. We had Mike and Candy and Tyler come over to hang for some dinner and sparklers (Griffin was in Maine with Grandparents). As the evening wore on, the adults found themselves on the back patio chatting away. The boys were playing so nice, so quiet ... we were falsely lulled into a sense of security.

Fast forward to Friday (2 days later), hut cleaning day. Drew went inside the hut to clear it out for the vacuum cleaner. Once inside I heard this, "MOM!!!!" Drew emerged from the hut with my 7lb sugar container (that I had recently filled to the brim), with almost half of the sugar "missing". Drew then exclaimed, "Tyler and Bradyn did it!" "Did what?", I asked, knowing it was bad. I peered into the hut to see not one, or two, or even three, but about 6 PILES of sugar on the carpet. As I investigated further, I found that the devastation was not only in the carpet, it was also on the sleeping bags, throw pillows, and seemingly "ground in" to some places on the little sofa. As I was throwing things from the hut out to the open to discover the level of this sugarific disaster I realized EVERYTHING was covered and EVERYTHING had to be cleaned or we would have a REAL bug infestation.

After assessing the damage, I calmly (yes, I actually was calm, I think it is the place you reach as a mom when you are so mad you can't even manage to have ANY emotion, you just lost all affect and go "blank") called Bradyn. The rest of this story is via a 4 and 5 year-olds recollection of events, so bear with me if the details seem sketchy. It would seem that on the evening of the fourth (yes, 2 days prior), Tyler and Bradyn were jonesing for some sugar ... and not the kind that is accompanied by all of the "in the way" stuff as in cookies and candy, they needed a straight shot to the system. Their need for speed left only one option. They managed to sneak the large sugar container up the stairs and into the hut for their "feast". They opened the sugar container and enjoyed handfuls, yes, I said handfuls, of the sweet, delicious white drug. When they had finally settled into a sugar coma of sorts, one of them (or both) "spilled" (um, looked to me like DUMPED) the sugar in the hut. Bradyn broke free from his coma for a moment of, "holy crap, my mom is going to kill me so we better put the sugar BACK into the container". However, he apparently lulled back into the coma when after discussing this clean up option with Tyler, followed Tyler's sage wisdom. "No, we'll get in trouble! Let's HIDE IT!" So, how do you hide 3 lbs of sugar? Well, first you try to grind it into the carpet. When the piles still remain, madness (or the sugar coma) kicks in and you throw anything you can find ONTO the piles. Then you jump on what you threw onto the sugar piles to make sure it is all covered (oh, and also leaves a nice dark place for bugs to discover their private sugar shame and take up residence!) up so Mom can't find it. Of course, after you have THAT much sugar ... you need something salty, right?
After an hour plus of cussing and cleaning the "hut", I took my cleaning efforts to the guest room for a quick vacuuming. Behind the angled headboard of the guest bed (where there is a little "nook" if you will), I spied something orange. Upon further investigation, I realized that salty follows sugary. The boys public shame stood before me ... a large EMPTY bag of family size Doritos (extra cheesy, of course), 1 half filled breakfast bowl of Doritos, and one glass half filled with Doritos. The rest were on the carpet and looked like they had experienced the most painful Dorito death ... smashing by to sugar coma induced preschoolers with bare footed Fred Flintstone shaped feet. Okay, so hour 2 passes by, the Doritos are cleaned up, I still have to steam clean the carpet of the "orange twinge".

For the two hours I was cleaning, I was planning ... planning a punishment so bad, so creative, that NEITHER boy would forget it. I had alot of time to think. After all was cleaned, I called my friend and told her about our boys "adventures". She was mortified, embarrassed, and also mad as hell. I informed her my "plan" was to have the little juvenile delinquents do some weeding in the yard for an hour. Sort of the you took my time today, now I take yours while you do something I needed to get done logic. My friend agreed my plan was evil and perfect. In the interim of she and her husband questioning their juvenile delinquent about his escapades with his fellow juvenile delinquent best friend, I found out that Drew DID know about the Doritos and chose to say NOTHING for 2 days. When Tyler and his Mom arrived, I informed Drew that since he KNEW, said NOTHING, he would now be supervising the weeding adventures and if it wasn't done right, he would be finishing the job!

Yeah, that was like leaving the craziest inmate in charge of the asylum at the prison. The short version is that I spent about 30 minutes out there hollering to get the boys moving and Drew motivated to stop tattling on them. After my 4th trip outside to "regulate", I informed Drew he had to "take care of it". I went inside, and approximately 30 seconds later I hear a blood curdling scream from one of the small boys. I ran outside to see both boys soaked, and Drew holding the garden hose. I looked at him and he matter of factly stated, "I told them if they didn't work, they'd get sprayed, they didn't work, they got sprayed." At this point, the small boys figured this was a great new game (who can tell the mind of a criminal?) and the started running all over the backyard DARING Drew to hose them again. The madness, it never ends.

I called them all inside, set their butts in various corners of the house, told them to stare at the walls, and say NOTHING. They sat for about 10 minutes, then Tyler went home. However, I don't feel to horrible that my masterminded punishment was a bust ... the next day at the neighbors (Tyler's parents) annual pool party, the two small boys were NOT allowed to swim and had to tell people, when asked, WHY they were banned from the pool for the day. Lucky little critters, it rained for most of the party! More later... it is only a question of "when" with these two, never "if". Yes, I am laughing now, but I think it is because insanity has kicked in.

Drew and Griff ... Mariners 2007

This is Drew (right) and his buddy Griff.

Opening Day Franklin Little League Baseball Season 2007.

Annual 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

Annual 4th July Party with St. Onge Family ... 2007
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: 4th July Party at the St.Onge's

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments

Bet you didn't know frozen Hawaiian punch is combustible and will stain your dogs tail and your kid AND his raggedy onlooking friends. Click below for details ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Hawaiian Punch Experiments

And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

Cheesy poofs tantrums, dive bombing black flies, threats of divorce, and porta potties. Sounds like camping FUN to me ... click on to read more ...
And The Cat Makes 5 ...: Campinng at Patuckaway State Park 2007

The "Illness", Franklin Emergency Room & I'm Still Alive ....

The latest illness at the Eldridge house has earned a name, “the illness.” The illness began with Drew … on Sunday evening … last week. He said he had a headache. We ignored him thinking he was trying to get out of school the next day. Monday morning he came in our room … early … and told us he was sick. We checked his temperature 104 degrees. Okay, so he wasn’t faking.

We spent Monday and Tuesday with “the sickness” sequestered nicely on the front couch doubling as Drew. There was hourly dosing of the Tylenol and the Motrin, etc. while “the illness” rendered Drew almost inept with a fever going no less than 102.5 degrees. Drew, through the voice of “the sickness” said, “mom, I like this couch, it molds to my body”. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it is because the couch is getting old, has seen many butts of various shapes and sizes, doubled as an Olympic gymnastics competition prop, and served as home base minus cushions (shields) for wars fighting for anything from turn to oreos. The sofa, the one that molded to his body, has sofa fatigue and we need a new one some day. For now, we keep this one and I told Drew, “honey, that’s because we bought the special “mold to your body” version.

Finally, it seemed the illness had left Drew late Tuesday evening. Wednesday morning he came bounding down the stairs, dressed and ready for school. He looked okay, so off to school he went. At about 9:30 in the school nurse called me and said, “Drew has a 101 degree temperature, can you come get him?” WHAT?!?! “The illness” had returned. So, I picked him up from school and within the hour we were back up to 103. I didn’t take him to the doctor, because ACCORDING to the school nurse, there is a NASTY virus haunting the area as of late. Apparently, it is a weird version of the flu, that is NOT defeated by the flu shot (so much for the annual flu shots!), but rather is a high fever that can last for up to a week. Yes, I know … awesome.

The germ-phobe in me, dedicated myself to fighting “the illness”. No way would this virus defeat me in my bleached, germ free zone. So, Thursday morning I scrubbed and I washed and I disinfected ALL of the house. All linens were washed, every sheet, comforter, blanket, towel, etc. If it wasn’t nailed down, it was bleached and boiled. Of course, Thursday, Drew seemed to be at the end of the illness, but the local television station announced “no school” Thursday or Friday because of the “threat”. (A kid, a computer, to much time on his hands, threats, FBI, and 2 days after the Virginia Tech massacre, you get the picture?)

Bradyn had not yet showed any signs of “the illness”as of Thursday, and Drew was camping out in the guest room, so no germ sharing. Friday morning, Drew didn’t have school, Bradyn did have preschool … but, alas, at 4 a.m. Friday morning Bradyn came into our bed with “the illness” in full force. Of course, his was accompanied by “the croup”. Uh-huh. So, we were off to the hot shower, outside for cold air to alleviate the croup, then there was the 103 temperature. That needed the Motrin/Tylenol fix.

We spent the rest of the weekend right into yesterday fighting “the illness” with Bradyn. Drew was better now, no problem. Jon seemed fine. I was fine … but oh wait, my eye had been bothering me all week. I was so busy with “the illness” I didn’t take time to address my eye issue, until about 4 p.m. Saturday night. I looked VERY closely at my eye and said, “shit”. Yep, that’s all I could muster.

In ten years I have had two “eye ulcers”, yes, ulcers. They manifest the same way, pain, a little swelling, and what looks like a little piece of cotton right on the colored part of your eye. They take about two months to heal completely. Think, open wound in the eye. If you WAIT before getting some sort of medical attention, you go blind. Simple. The last “eye ulcer” was 4 years ago. Of course, this was perfect timing for another.

So, I had to go to the local Franklin ER (which has a reputation of killing people who go in for a simple set of stitches … I am still alive). While there, I got sufficient medical attention, BUT I also had the privilege of sitting in the exam room by the “puker”. For the 2 hours I sat in my exam room, the “puker” did her thing … puked, repeatedly, And not just the puke it all out then you are done puke, oh no, this was the dry heave pukes, then moan and threaten to kill yourself and everyone in the hospital, pukes. It was, in a word, awesome.

Even more awesome than that was that a fellow franklinite and her boyfriend/son (not sure, the jury is still out on that one) came into the ER looking for “drugs”. If you wanted to categorize them medically … they were “drug seeking”. These characters feign deadly and fatal illnesses hoping for a “fix” from their local ER. Percocet, Oxcontin, anything will do. They just need a hit. The woman was feigning a headache or something, and the next thing you know they are getting all lippy with the staff of the ER and the ER attendant was threatening to call hospital security, etc...

Security was called, and the security guard came down to settle the dispute as only a hospital security guard armed with pepper spray and no real live gun can … he yelled at them and put them in an exam room, closed the door, and sat outside of their room until the Franklin PD arrived. I watched and/or heard most of this go down and thought how much I loved living in New Hampshire... Franklin esepcially. Never a dull moment.

But I am remiss, the eye ulcer was confirmed. The doctor numbed my eye with some drops, and THEN told me that the drops are very powerful and to make sure I don’t steal them when she leaves the room. (apparently this is a problem at the Franklin ER?). I guess the numbing drops are only to be used occasionally as they will melt my cornea. Yep, you guessed it, someone DID steal them once and ended up having to have a corneal transplant.

Right, got it, don’t get all sticky fingered at the Emergency Room and steal the eye drop drugs because my cornea was already beginning to melt, yet numb the pain, for now. She then put some other drops in, confirmed the familiar, “wow, that is really bad, it must be painful” diagnosis of the ulcer and then told me she didn’t have the prescription I would need there, but here was a script. Uh-huh. It was now 7:40 and I knew the local Rite Aid closed at 8. If I didn’t make it to the local Rite Aid, I would have to drive about 30 minutes to the “big city” with a numb and fully dilated eye. Something to look forward to!

The man nurse came to check me out of the exam room, while I was on the phone with Jon confirming the time the Rite Aid Pharmacy closed. In an attempt to put icing on my already humiliating, germ infested, gross out experience at the Franklin ER the man nurse says, “So, was that your husband on your cell?” I said, “yeah.” And the man nurse then proceeds to say, “Wow, your husband is a REALLY lucky man.” Uh-huh. All I could think was, “are you freaking kidding me, you are not hitting on me right now with my glasses on, my hair pulled up, and my sweat suit that makes me look like a 500 lb circus act on?” Apparently, the man nurse likes that sort of thing.

My eye hurt and my witticisms left me so I just said, “yep, he is.” and left that there. I RAN out of the ER, prescription in hand, passed the Franklin PD entering the ER (remember the lippy drug seekers?), and went straight to the Rite Aid. It was 7:57 and I begged the Pharmacist to fill my prescription. I think I looked a little “iffy” on the sane side so he complied. I went to check out. “That will be $63.00,” he says. I started laughing, looking at the 5 ml bottle of eye drops. “No seriously,“ I said, “we have insurance, really GOOD insurance, did you not apply it?” He wasn’t laughing when he said, “No, we applied it, that’s the price AFTER insurance.”

At this point, I knew I had been beaten. The illness, the cleaning escapades, the lack of real smelling ability because my sinus areas were burned with bleach. Waiting for me at home was my youngest with a 103 fever, and so I hung my head, squinted through my one good eye, handed over my visa, and said, “here.” What more could I do? I was beaten and apparently I had wrought some really bad karma on someone because it was ALL coming back this week.

I read my new $63 prescription instructions. (No, it was not in a golden container, though it should be) It was the end, the final passage of what sanity I had left. The wonderful instruction. Every hour, on the hour, one drop in the right eye. Yes, that means awake, in the night, every hour, for four days … at least.

THE NEXT DAY ...
I was referred to an eye doctor yesterday, in GILFORD (30 minutes away) and had to take both kids, (Bradyn is still sick, mind you) to the “wait in the office for 2 hours with all of the Medicaid old people patients”. Finally I was in the actual doctor’s chair, trying in vain to decipher what he was saying (he was Indian, and English is not his first language) to me, and vaguely recognized the words “blind and bad”. Uh-huh. I wasn’t blind, but apparently, I was close. Still on the drops, and back to ANOTHER eye doctor on Thursday morning because the Indian guy will be on vacation or something so I have to see his colleage, which is in LACONIA (another 40 minute drive). Again … awesome.

ALL OF THIS and wouldn’t you know it? The complaining I have been doing about the snow storms in April, waiting in vain for Spring … all last weekend was beautiful. In fact, it was 80 degrees on Monday. Yet, the corneal ulcer and the numbing corneal melting eye drops with some dilation drops and antibacterial drops blinded to the suns warm rays. Driving in the beautiful weather is really nice … except for when every 4 hours I have to use drops (along with the every hour drops) to dilate my eye. So, I drive, with one eye wincing in pain as my corneas are melting, and try to stay on the road. S

O, where does that leave me now. Well, Bradyn seems to have turned the corner with “the illness”, still a bit croupy, but alive. I am wearing my super hot make me a babe forevermore glasses (for an undetermined amount of time, which makes the vanity in me scream for mercy), my eye is throbbing, that’s about it.

Do you see where I am going with all of this? My sanity right now is definitely questionable. I have taught 2 of my four aerobics classes this week. I didn’t fall off of my step last night, so that was a plus. I was convinced with the “eye” I wouldn’t be able to judge distance even with my glasses on. So now, I sweat, (gross) and have to take the glasses off and wipe them off. UGH! Just one more thing in the land of my life. But, other than that we are doing GREAT! Bradyn has officially kicked “the illness’s” butt, taking no prisoners. Kids are on spring break all week, AND my poor bulbs DID survive the last three April noreasters (snow storms) and I saw signs of life in a little yellow daffodil yesterday. In all things I suppose it is important to not only see the humor in life, but also God’s little miracles. Okay, eyes bobbing back and forth and time for more drops.